Property of Adipose Athletic Department Babydoll
A ThinkGeek Exclusive! This revolutionary weight-loss program from Adipose Industries is guaranteed to make the fat "just walk away!" In combination with a healthy diet and moderate exercise, the easy-to-swallow pill will change the way you think about your body and your life! With just one, highly-effective pill once a day, you, too, can leave those pounds behind. These pills have been clinically proven to reduce body fat. Maybe you've plateaued on your current diet and exercise routine? This innovative approach will help you shed those last few pounds. You can do it, and Adipose Industries can help. Text reads "Property of Adipose Athletic Department" with three little baby Adipose making up the traditional XXL on a heather grey, 90% cotton / 10% polyester babydoll (fitted) shirt.
![[buy]](/images/buy.gif)
Raptor Kids' Hoodie
We have two versions of this dinosaur hoodie: T. Rex and Raptor. This simple guide is intended to help you decide if the raptor is right for you. The Deinonychus antirrhopus represents: Willingness to be a team player. We've found Tenontosaurus remains in the same area as Deinonychus. To a Deinonychus, Tenontosaurus was big - 10 times his weight. So we can be pretty sure that Deinonychus hunted in packs to bring down this huge prey. Flexibility. The Deinonychus shoulder and elbow joints had more than twice the range of motion of T. Rex's stubby arms. Which is why T. Rex never got to be the pitcher on the dinosaurs' pickup softball team. Espionage and intrigue. Deinonychus can be a deep undercover operative. Many audiences never knew that the parts that called for a Velociraptor in Jurassic Park were actually played by a Deinonychus. (*Folger's coffee commercial whisper* We've secretly replaced the Velociraptor in this scene with a Deinonychus. Let's watch. *scream off camera and blood spatter*) The ability to use tools. Deinonychus not only could use tools; it was born with one in its hands. We don't know exactly what it did with the huge sickle-shaped claw on its second finger, but presumably it made it easier for the raptor to kill its prey and open CDs. Not your thing? Try our T. Rex hoodie on for size instead. 100% polyester hoodie is green. Front of hoodie features Deinonychus looking over his shoulder, as if to say, "Is that thing following me edible?" When arms are folded across the chest, the image changes to reveal the raptor's toothy maw. Back of hoodie features another hungry Deinonychus. Printed with eco-friendly inks on recycled fabric. Note that this is a lightweight fabric, good for wearing to the movies or other places that might be too air conditioned in the summer or for layering in the winter. Be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to choose the right size. Need it bigger? This is also available in adult sizes.
Rocking with Hawking
- Stephen Hawking quoted in Der Spiegel You know how when you work out there's that good pain? Not the "I think I just tore a ligament" pain but the "I am aware of my muscles' existence" pain? Stephen Hawking makes our brains hurt in that good way. He makes all the little neurons stretch for concepts that are just out of reach. He tries to put them within our grasp, too. But sometimes it just doesn't work, and he has to make a "briefer" version to ensure the whole class can keep up. Because he can do that. We wanted to create a ... *ahem*... singular shirt in tribute to him and came up with this retro-styled Rocking With Hawking. Printed in royal blue and white on stone blue, this 100% cotton shirt features shooting stars ala Wonder Woman and a neon-tubing-style outline ala Dukes of Hazzard, along with an image of the man himself with a slight grin on his face. Not sure if he's about to smile or talk, but it's good either way.
The Friendship Algorithm Flowchart
It's not surprising that when Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory decides he needs a new friend (Bawwy Kwipke, because of his wole with the Open Science Gwid Computew), he approaches the problem scientifically. Because we all occasionally need a little help doing that, we've reproduced his flowchart on this shirt. Unfortunately, it's difficult to follow the arrows when you're wearing it so you either need to convince an extant friend to wear this shirt with you (which can lead to awkward questions) or rig a series of mirrors. We recommend the mirrors. It involves fewer humans. This shirt features the flowchart from "The Friendship Algorithm," season 2, episode 13 on a white, 100% cotton t-shirt. To check out the full flowchart (lo-res but readable), click here.
Heroine: Ada Lovelace (for guys!)
Even in the utilitarian aspect, however, we do not doubt that very valuable practical results would be developed by the extended faculties of the Analytical Engine; some of which results we think we could now hint at, had we the space; and others, which it may not yet be possible to foresee, but which would be brought forth by the daily increasing requirements of science, and by a more intimate practical acquaintance with the powers of the engine, were it in actual existence. - Ada Lovelace Augusta Ada Byron King, Countess of Lovelace wrote the above in 1843. She had undertaken, at Charles Babbage's behest, a translation from the French of Italian mathematician Luigi Menabrea's description of Babbage's lecture in Turin on what he called an "Analytical Engine." In her notes, which are longer than the text being translated, she presents for her English-speaking audience a clear distinction between the Difference Engine and the Analytical Engine, as well as how the Jacquard loom punch cards could be fed into the Analytical Engine so that the program could be held separate (and repeatable) from the device itself. "We may say most aptly, that the Analytical Engine weaves algebraical patterns just as the Jacquard-loom weaves flowers and leaves." She clearly inherited some of her father's poetic manner. Later in the notes, she sets forth a series of calculations for this as-yet hypothetical machine, which, although she didn't get to run it, are recognized as the very first computer program. Ada Lovelace surrounded by her notes in the lower right corner of an ice grey 100% cotton t-shirt. Scroll down for detailed view of design. Thanks to your generous support, ThinkGeek made a generous contribution to The Girl Effect as a result of the sales of this shirt its first month of existence. Yay for our customers!
Anatomical Heart Necklace
Right, so you can't literally give your heart away. Well, you can, but that tends to work out best for both involved if you're dead and there's a medevac helicopter standing by. Love tends to work out best, on the other hand, if you're both still amongst the living. So allow us to recommend this slightly-more-literal-than-a-cutesy-heart-but-not-as-literal-as-organ-donation option. Give your significant other your "heart" on a chain for safekeeping. This pewter heart hangs from an 18" braided sterling-silver plated chain. This is paired with a second sterling-silver plated decorative chain featuring garnet beads. Heart measures approximately 1 inch high and .75 inch across. Toggle closure.
Plotting for Your Heart Babydoll
It's been a long time since high school math for some of us, so we got WolframAlpha to help us out on this shirt design. We knew what we wanted to do, and we knew that there were multiple ways to do it. WolframAlpha elegantly graphed a bunch of our options for us, and we went with this one. We love it. We hope you love it. And we hope you love someone who also loves it (and you). Equation in white on front and implicit heart plot in white and red on the back of this black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.
Sunnydale High School Babydoll
There is something for everyone at Sunnydale High School. Sunnydale High stands above the banks of the Hellmouth in southern California, just west of Ventura County. Serving approximately 2500 students in grades 9 through 12, it houses an ethnically, socio-economically, and morphologically diverse student body. From academics to sports, clubs to service organizations, students will find everything they are looking for at Sunnydale. Over 40 clubs and organizations operate yearly to keep students active and involved. These include: Amnesty International, band, cheerleading, chess club, debate, demon summoning, drama club, Future Fiends of America, Honor Society, the Key Club (one member), NJROTC, and yearbook. News flash! We are proud to announce that Sunnydale's class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate in the school's history! Way to go Razorbacks! SHS printed in big block varsity letters with Sunnydale High School beneath in gold on a red, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. The H is on fire and the Ss sport fangs.
Schrödinger's Cat
Twisted up in Schrödinger's uncertainty thought experiment, this historical kitty has been put through a quantum ringer that nobody should have to experience. After all it's tough work being both alive and dead simultaneously. Every student of physics knows that Schrödinger's 1935 paper regarding a hypothetical paradox involving a cat has perplexed and annoyed physics geeks for years. The basic idea; If the outcome of a circumstance is presently unknown and by observing the circumstance you will disrupt it, then it exists in all possible states simultaneously... Simple! At least to quantum physicists with massive craniums. And hey eventually this principle will seem commonplace, but by then our highways will connect galaxies and shirts like this will be so utterly obvious that they'll likely be dish rags. Don't get it? We propose the following thought experiment: Give your friend enough money to purchase the "Schrödinger's Cat" shirt (don't forget the shipping). Tell your friend to take the money and lock himself in a room with a cigarette lighter. Let your friend know that once in the room he is to randomly choose either to burn the money, or return in five minutes with the money intact. We emphasize that this must be completely random (aka, impossible for a human to determine but bear with us). Your friend must then stay in this box for eternity. Hey, that's how thought experiments work. Hopefully he/she is OK with that. Since you have no idea whether your friend will destroy the money, you will simultaneously either lose or recover that money. So in a quantum sense, if you extend that logic, you will simultaneously either be able to purchase or not purchase this very t-shirt which enabled you to make the choice in the first place. Isn't physics fun? Perhaps when it was based on Newton, but now things are getting really hairy. Just wait another 100 years, we haven't seen anything yet.... 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirt in black with "Schrödinger's Cat is Dead" on the front and "Schrödinger's Cat is Not Dead" on the back. Note: Don't want to have to explain this shirt to strangers? Fear no more! We now have free Schrödinger's Cat Pocket Cards to go with your shirt. They're perfect to print out and keep in your wallet so you can hand them out and make your escape while said strangers are busy reading.
Star Trek Original Series T-Shirt Dress
It is incorrect believing that the only Star Trek fans are male. When ThinkGeek launched our popular line of Star Trek t-shirts, we immediately began to receive emails asking where the love was for our female fans. "Where," they asked, "is the Uhura-style miniskirt?!" It was a response we got pretty regularly. See, Gene Roddenberry envisioned a world where men and women of all races could serve side-by-side on a starship, all in a time when racial inequality was the norm, and when the so-called glass ceiling was made out of solid duranium. The uniforms he originally envisioned for females looked exactly like the mens' uniforms, but were likely changed due to network pressure to something a bit more feminine. Despite the objectification, it worked - women could still be feminine, but maintain positions of authority and showed strength. ThinkGeek worked through our suppliers and finally got hold of these fantastic mini-skirt style tunic tops for all the awesome geekgirls out there! Live out your shipboard fantasies of breaking through Klingon jamming signals, or manning the auxiliary ops station, or arming photon torpedoes! Perhaps you're sent on an away mission where you have to fire hand-phasers at marauding rock-monsters! Either way, you'll be cool and comfortable in this super-soft cotton mini dress in Operations red with flex and flock insignia. Hailing frequencies open. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. XS S M L XL XXL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. 37 in. 38 in. Waist 29 in. 30 1/2 in. 32 in. 34 in. 35 in. 36 in. Length 34 in. 36 in. 36 1/2 in. 37 in. 38 in. 39 in. Note that these were laid flat to measure. Also, the t-shirt material is very stretchy so if your measurements don't quite match, you'll do well getting close!
Magical Unicorn Necklace
In the magical alternate reality of Uni-Tini-Poni, unicorns of all shapes and sizes prance and whinny and fart rainbows. Sometimes, some of their farts travel to our world and rainbows appear (double rainbows, if they've eaten really greasy foods). But every so often, a unicorn farts so big that something even more magical passes into our world. We found these farts in our offices, collected them, and turned each fart into a Magical Unicorn Necklace! That's right, each Magical Unicorn Necklace is as close as you'll probably ever get to the real magic of a unicorn's fart. Each necklace is beautifully retro, full of rainbow colors and smiles and magic. Ok, so most of the magic will exist only in your imagination, but isn't that magical, too? A pretty trinket to stir your creativity? We think it is, but we also think if you wear your Magical Unicorn Necklace long enough and believe in it with all your heart, you will cross over into Uni-Tini-Poni and get to frolic with the unicorns! Or, you might just end up looking awesome. Win/win if you ask us. Magical Unicorn Necklace A very colorful unicorn necklace. Big and beautiful. May be loaded with billions of drops of unicorn magic. 19" metal chain (with lobster claw closure) included. Dimensions: 3" x 2"
Try, Try Again
Sometimes you'll be writing a line of code, and it'll foil you at every turn. Whatever you try, nothing seems to work. It should be so obvious (and once you figure it out, it will have been). This is the moment when you need to embrace the maxim from this t-shirt. Let it provide you encouragement during those dark coding hours when all hope seems lost. Hopefully, it's all a misplaced parens. These things happen. while ( ! ( succeed = try() ) ); printed in white on a 100% cotton black t-shirt.
Sunnydale High School
There is something for everyone at Sunnydale High School. Sunnydale High stands above the banks of the Hellmouth in southern California, just west of Ventura County. Serving approximately 2500 students in grades 9 through 12, it houses an ethnically, socio-economically, and morphologically diverse student body. From academics to sports, clubs to service organizations, students will find everything they are looking for at Sunnydale. Over 40 clubs and organizations operate yearly to keep students active and involved. These include: Amnesty International, band, cheerleading, chess club, debate, demon summoning, drama club, Future Fiends of America, Honor Society, the Key Club (one member), NJROTC, and yearbook. News flash! We are proud to announce that Sunnydale's class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate in the school's history! Way to go Razorbacks! SHS printed in big block varsity letters with Sunnydale High School beneath in gold on a red, 100% cotton t-shirt. The H is on fire and the Ss sport fangs.
Batgirl Costume Babydoll
In the past we've shied away from carrying superhero logo costume-style t-shirts. When you can find Green Lantern or the Flash on the racks at your local SuperChainMart, that's a product ThinkGeek doesn't need to pick up. And then we saw these. They're unique. We knew we had to carry them for our crowd of female comic book fans. They're not subtle, but they're also not over the top. These are costumey without being cosplay. Basically, depending on how you accessorize the shirt, you can play up or down its kitchiness. Black, 100% cotton shirt with the logo on the chest and utility belt printed in yellow across the waist of the shirt. The back is blank. Note that this is longer in length than our standard babydolls. It comes down around your hips for the full costume-but-not-costume effect. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.
1up Track Jacket
(Recently featured in the movie Stay Alive) Wouldn't life be a hell of a lot easier if it were a video game? Concrete goals like "Save the Princess" would make worries like "What college do I attend?" completely obsolete. No more confusion about who your enemies are... just steer clear of any spiky shells or strange turtle dragon hybrids. Of course the 1up Mushroom would be there to help. Many times in life we avoid taking a risk because of the dire consequences (death, dismemberment) involved. Collect a 1up mushroom and you would have carte blanche to try pretty much anything with no permanent repercussions. So go ahead... stick that plasma mug in the microwave for 30 minutes. When your house turns into a nuclear waste site simply use your 1up Mushroom to re-spawn at the beginning of the level. No muss... no fuss... we would. Lightweight charcoal fleece jacket with white contrast piping and zip up front. Made of 100% combed cotton, the jacket is intentionally lightweight, warm, and does not pill. Pre-laundered for reduced shrinkage. A pixelated 1up mushroom is embroidered on the left chest. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL XXL Chest 36 in. 40 in. 44 in. 48 in. 50 in. Waist 32 in. 33 in. 34 in. 38 in. 42 in. Length 23 1/2 in. 24 1/2 in. 25 1/2 in. 26 1/2 in. 27 1/2 in.
Fibonacci Bunnies Babydoll
Rabbits are known for a three main behaviors: wiggling their noses adorably, eating everything in your garden, and creating more rabbits. In 1202, Leonardo Pisano Bogollo aka Fibonacci proposed a logic problem involving this third behavior. Supposing an idealized world in which you start with a pair of male and female rabbits and every pair of rabbits sexually matures at one month, gestates for one month, and reproduces as frequently as possible and each mating produces a pair of male and female rabbits, how many Cadbury eggs can you eat in one sitting? No wait. That's not right. What he pointed out was that the pairs of rabbits would grow progressively in the Fibonacci sequence (he didn't call it that, although that would have rocked... "the me sequence"). A cheerleader pyramid of Fibonacci bunnies on a light aqua babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Also, we're going to take a second here to point out that even under non-ideal circumstances bunnies DO reproduce prolifically, and you should consider adopting your next fluffy-tailed companion. Our own Jamie McCarthy is a rabbit rescuer, and we wiggle our noses at all the great bunny rescuers out there. Thank you!
Warcraft Polo Shirts
We imagine an office where the employees dress based on their faction. At ThinkGeek HQ, that would mean the Merchant Monkeys as the Alliance, bound by the noble desire to find the most excellent products to share with our audience. Also in the Alliance would be the Customer Service Monkeys, ready to fix anything about your order that was less than awesome. On the Horde side, Marketing (aka Evil Schemes & Nefarious Plans) and our Designerds, who create a website so sticky, you can never leave. Mwah ha ha! These polo shirts will allow you to swear your loyalty at work, whether it's every day in a business casual office or with your jeans on Casual Friday. Choose the dark blue Alliance shirt with white embroidery or the black Horde shirt with red details.
Periodic BaCoN V-Neck Babydoll
Seems like everyone has a different way of eating these days. Just at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ we have the carnivores, the pescatarians, the vegetarians, the vegans, and then there's our copywriter monkey who claims to be 100% vegetarian 80% of the time, which requires higher math when we pick a lunch place. Then there was this one guy we met who said he was vegetarian up until the point he smelled bacon cooking. So periodically, he was what we like to call bacontarian. We suggest bacontarianism as an alternative to your already presumably alternative eating habits. Plus, it kind of sounds like a religion. So when someone asks what you believe in, you can say, "Bacon." The chemical formula for bacon (okay, it's not... but it SPELLS bacon... we do NOT recommend you attempt to eat this combination of elements), Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen, printed with their atomic properties in white on a deep heather babydoll (fitted) v-neck t-shirt.
Chain Mail Shirt
Here at ThinkGeek we consider ourselves experts on geek style. After all, we've been churning out geeky shirts long before it was cool to be a geek. So it should be no surprise that one day during a secret meeting in the dark catacombs beneath the ThinkGeek office the discussion strayed towards geeky apparel that we hadn't yet covered. Timmy (the faithful ThinkGeek monkey mascot) was of the opinion that ThinkGeek had already created enough geeky things and might as well go in another direction... like mime outfits. No sooner had Timmy's words been spoken when a low rumbling could be heard far below the catacombs. Moments later a huge explosion rocked the cavern and the floor erupted in a shower of rocks. The terrible beast who shall not be named, the one all ThinkGeek employees thought banished from existence, raised its hideous head from the rubble and turned its gaping maw to the ceiling in a bone chilling roar. As its thousands of razor sharp teeth bit into Timmy... a sigh of relief was uttered from all in attendance. It was obvious to everyone in the room what the next amazing geeky apparel item should be.... CHAIN MAIL. The ThinkGeek Chain Mail T-Shirt is honest-to-goodness real metal chain mail hand forged by dwarfs in forbidden mines near the center of the earth and delivered to the ThinkGeek warehouse by shrieking black apparitions in the dead of night. Its bright shine and relatively light-weight comes from its anodized aluminum construction. It's appropriate protective wear for most occasions including office meetings and parties you would rather not have attended. Two Types of Chain Mail We're offering two different varieties of chain mail to serve your discriminating medieval needs. Our Standard Chain Mail is a butted mail where the aluminum rings are bent closed, while our fine Riveted Mail features hand riveted closures on each ring. Look at the close-up photos and the difference will become obvious. Important Note: Please keep in mind that the ThinkGeek Chain Mail T-Shirt is real chain mail, made from thousands of anodized aluminum rings. This makes the shirt fairly light (for chain mail) at around 12 pounds. However if you opt for the less expensive standard (butted) mail the aluminum rings can be bent and come uncoupled if you don't take care with the garment. Therefore we have included a small bag of extra rings with the standard (butted) mail that you can easily bend into place with needle nose pliers if any repairs are needed. Tips on Wearing Your New Chain Mail: In case you weren't aware, chain mail does not stretch. You cannot put it on one arm at a time like a fabric shirt. Instead lay the chain mail flat on the ground, bend over and thrust both arms into the bottom of the shirt. Work your hands through to the end of the sleeves and then begin to stand-up. Get your head through the neck hole and let the chain mail slide down your body. If you have long hair, make sure to tie up your hair before you wear the chain ...
Rays Cast
We think you can figure this one out yourself... but your less intelligent friends will find the "Rays Cast" shirt to be highly dangerous. After all, billions of tiny particles (or are they waves) traveling three hundred thousand times faster than a bullet and penetrating every visible orifice of your body just can't be good (unless you have neo-like abilities within the matrix)... Baffle your friends with interesting facts about your new shirt: The rays cast from this shirt never slow down. Whether you are one foot from the shirt or a million miles. Your shirt only runs out of rays when in absolute darkness. (Unless you want to count the non-visible spectrum at temperatures greater than absolute zero, but that would make it less funny!) If aliens could view your shirt with a powerful telescope from Alpha Centauri, they would actually see it as it existed four years into the relative past. Which would be four years into your future from the moment the rays from your t-shirt were cast. 100% cotton, black, heavyweight t-shirt with warning symbols printed in yellow and red with "Rays cast from this shirt travel at over 670,000,000 MPH" warning printed on the front in black and white. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Property of Adipose Athletic Department
A ThinkGeek Exclusive! This revolutionary weight-loss program from Adipose Industries is guaranteed to make the fat "just walk away!" In combination with a healthy diet and moderate exercise, the easy-to-swallow pill will change the way you think about your body and your life! With just one, highly-effective pill once a day, you, too, can leave those pounds behind. These pills have been clinically proven to reduce body fat. Maybe you've plateaued on your current diet and exercise routine? This innovative approach will help you shed those last few pounds. You can do it, and Adipose Industries can help. Text reads "Property of Adipose Athletic Department" with three little baby Adipose making up the traditional XXL on a heather grey, 90% cotton / 10% polyester t-shirt.
Geek Panties
It's better to be safe than sorry. Give fair warning with your own pre-printed disclosure unmentionables. You could say you're "briefing" your Significant Other on the situation. Let's face it: if they've gotten far enough to read the warning, it isn't likely to stop them, but it sure will elicit a few chuckles. And it's said that a sense of humor is one of the most attractive things about the opposite sex. Personally, we go more for the size of the library and the speed of the processor. These panties fit low on the hips. They're the same style as our HTTPanties, if you have a pair of those. They're 100% cotton, soft, comfortable, and stretchy. And they have full coverage in the back. They come in two varieties: "I'm blogging this." which goes nicely with the matching shirts and "Warranty Void If Removed", which pairs up nicely with our "i void warranties" shirt. Sizing Info: Small Medium Large Waist 25-26 in. 27-29 in. 30-32 in. Hips 34-36 in. 37-39 in. 40-42 in.
Iron-on Patches
Do you have a lonely jacket or backpack that could use some company? Or maybe you just want to have one more way to show off your geekdom. Well we've got you covered. Just get one (or more!) of our Iron-on patches and problem solved. These are the same patches used on our work shirts, but they can go just about anywhere that an iron can. Available in Geek, Hacker, 31337, Gamer. Embroidered patches with heat-sensitive adhesive on the back. To apply, put the patch on the area that you wish to apply it to, cover with a cloth to prevent damage to the patch, and press a hot iron on the patch for several seconds until well-adhered. If properly adhered, it should be washable without coming off. For an extra measure of protection, you might want to sew the patch on! Note: Tux patch no longer available. Dimensions: Oval patch (Geek): W: 3.25in x H: 1.75in Rectangular patches (31337, Hacker, Gamer): W: 3.5in x H: 1.5in
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock Babydoll
We'll be honest here. We hadn't heard of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock until that episode of The Big Bang Theory. You could say that prior to that day we were traditional roshamboists. When we heard Sheldon explain how it works and why it's superior to your standard-grade RPS, we immediately paused the TV and went over to teh Intarwebs to do research. And indeed, we found the page by Sam Kass, the genius behind this version. His phenomenon must now be part of our life. However, none of us knew anything about this version of the game. So we ended up playing Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock to figure out who had to write the copy for this shirt. It went a little something like this: Fearless Leader: "One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: "What's that?" Free Thinker: "It's a zombie." Rules Lawyer: "There is no Zombie in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Free Thinker: "Braaaaaainsssss." Rules Lawyer: "There are no Brains in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Merchant Monkey: "Lizard and Spock have Brainnnnnnnsssss." Second Merchant: "Right. And Rock bludgeons Zombie into a small pile of blood, teeth, and hair." Free Thinker: "Awwww." Fearless Leader: "Are you two done? Okay. Again. One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: *raised eyebrow* Free Thinker: "It's the Large Hadron Collider." The symbols for Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock in a circle (with arrows for reference on what beats what) on a cotton, royal blue babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Also available in a women's classic cut if you'd prefer more generous proportions.
The Ultimate Inequation
There are countless formulas and maxims out there in the universe of math, physics and more -- The Pythagorean Theorem, a basic differential equation, E=mc2, and the definition of Pi are ones that many of us know (or at least knew at one point). Well, here at ThinkGeek Research Labs™, we have toiled for many years and have finally come up with what we like to call "The Ultimate Inequation®". The Ultimate Inequation is a highly complex and well-documented representation of the basic premise of superiority shared by many a geek, gamer, or hacker. Put simply, the Ultimate Inequation is i > u. Q.E.D. 100% cotton t-shirt in heavyweight black (suprised ya, didn't we?). "i > u" is printed on the front in white. Ain't simplicity grand?
ThunderCats Ho!
We were pondering. What would happen if the geek cats of the mid-eighties meet the geek cats of today? And so, without further ado, we present to you the basic plot to ThunderCats as written in LOLCat: Da residents of Thundera sez, "Nooo! They be stealin mah home planet!!!" K. Not so much stealin as splodin. This scares ThunderKittehs. ThunderKittehs sez, "It can be evacuation tiem now?" Jaga da Wize sez, "srsly." Gets all da ThunderKittehs to leave in a ship. Da Mootants of Plun-Darr attack da ThunderKittehs. Do Not Want! Da ThunderKittehs wins but monorail gets derailed in process. Next stop: Third Earth. Third Earth long way off. Many Caturdays will pass before dey get dere. ThunderKittehs sez, "Oh noes!" Jaga puts ThunderKittehs in bukkits of suzpended animashun. In case you not know, Jaga is Serious Cat. Jaga's in ur ship steerin' for Third Earth. Before dey get dere, Jaga says, "kthxbye" and goes away (don't cry -- will return as Invisible Jaga later). Lion-O wakes up furst and sez, "The Sword of Omens. Let me show you it." The other ThunderKittehs wakes up and sez, "Oh hai." Turns out, Lion-O's bukkit was doin it wrong, so he's not a kitten anymoar. The ThunderKittehs settle in to Third Earth. They meet other races and make friends wif dem. And when other races say "halp!" da ThunderKittehs are da first to say "Wut?" Also, da bad guys attack da ThunderKittehs. Da ThunderKittehs win, cause dey da good guys. Eventually, Lion-O sez, "I can has leadership?" And other ThunderKittehs sez, "ORLY?" Lion-O sez, "Plz?" Other ThunderKittehs sez, "Challunges. We has dem." Lion-O sez, "Goin to Mumm-Ra's Pyramid. BRB." And Lion-O becomes Lord of da ThunderKittehs. And dey live happily evr after, least for one mor season. The Eye of Thundera (aka the Thundercats logo) printed in red on a black 100% cotton t-shirt.
Captain Hammer T-Shirt
He's everyone's favorite narcissist: the dashingly handsome Captain Hammer, who craves adoration and is always ready to fight for what's right - as long as it doesn't muss up his hair. He's a multitasking super hero, battling Dr. Horrible, flirting with the ladies and showing his well-toned body to best advantage.* Lucky for Hammer, he has us to keep him flexing in style, with the Captain Hammer T-Shirt. Quantum Mechanix worked with Dr. Horrible costume designer Shawna Trpcic to exactly replicate the shirt worn by Nathan Fillion in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. We're not only using a shirt that's an exact match for the screen-used costume piece, the Captain Hammer logo is printed using the exact same graphic file Ms. Trpcic used created for the original shirt. Captain Hammer logo on a dark grey 100% cotton t-shirt. * Just give him a sec to strike a pose.
Johnny
Mmmm... how about a nice tall glass of sulfuric acid? Don't be like Johnny - study your chemistry and avoid certain death! Our "Johnny" shirt is a classic chemistry joke you can wear rather than put in your sig for geek creds. Johnny was a chemist's son, But Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H20 was H2SO4. 100% cotton, heavyweight tan t-shirt. Poem and image of poor Johnny printed on the front in dark brown and light blue.
Hello Schröddy
What is it with cats and boxes? Despite all the talk of potentially dead cats, Schrödinger must have been a fan of the feline. He knew the perfect container for a cat was a box. Dog, not so much. Cat? May never come out. Which is sort of the point of the thought experiment. The cat might be both there and also not, but we know the box will remain on your shirt as long as you take care when washing it. Cuteness guaranteed. Live cat, not so much. "Hello Schröddy" in black with a white box and a red bow on a pink babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: Don't want to have to explain this shirt to strangers? Fear no more! We now have free Schrödinger's Cat Pocket Cards to go with your shirt. They're perfect to print out and keep in your wallet so you can hand them out and make your escape while said strangers are busy reading.
Your Comment Is Awaiting Moderation
Multitasking. We multitask all the time, even though studies have shown it doesn't increase productivity. So when you're running a report, getting the paperwork together for your next meeting, and putting the finishing touches on that presentation, the last thing you need is for a coworker to walk into your space unannounced and start talking. They usually get a half a sentence into the blather and then immediately interrupt with the inquiry, "Oh sorry. Were you in the middle of something?" No. I work here. Why would you possibly think I might be in the middle of something? Of COURSE I'm in the middle of something. If you walked into my office at 2 p.m. on a Saturday, that would be an appropriate time for you to ask if I were in the middle of something. Because at 2 p.m. on a Saturday, theoretically I shouldn't be. But if I'm here, on a work day, during work hours, in the office? I'm working. Unless I'm walking to a meeting or picking up something from the printer, I'm in the middle of something. That's what work is. We suggest you wait for the inevitable, "What do you think?" at the end of the unilogue and point, silently, to your shirt. Right. You're in the queue. Don't expect to get out any time soon. Black 100% cotton t-shirt reads "I'm not ignoring you. Your comment is awaiting moderation."
Minecraft Diamond In the Rough
Sweden. Source of tasty meatballs, flat-packed furniture, and Hans. Also, home of Mojang AB, the company that provides our current addiction, Minecraft. But you already knew that. However, did you know that the impossible object on this shirt is also Swedish in origin? Yep. Created in 1934 by Oscar Reutersvärd, the tribar optical illusion in question makes this what our Bacon Salt Merchant calls "The Headache Shirt." Don't mind him. He's just bitter that pigs drop pork which can be turned into cooked porkchops but not bacon. Which is a good thing. Because if there were virtual bacon in Minecraft, we'd never see him again. Nine blocks of diamond ore arranged in a tribar on this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. By purchasing this shirt, you agree that ThinkGeek waives responsibility for any headaches it might or might not induce. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of this shirt. We recommend you stick with the pickaxe.
meh
As seen on The IT Crowd! Writing these amusing and pithy product descriptions you see on ThinkGeek.com is harder than it looks. Take our new 'meh' shirt, for example. Writing copy shouldn't be as hard as coding a first-person shooter in assembly, but sometimes indifference wins and creativity loses. In this case, we gave the writing job to our primary apparel merchant. The best she managed was to write "meh" on the back of a chinese delivery menu. The gadget merchant spent the day drawing doodles in it (after ordering Hunan Beef of course), consisting mostly of stick figures wielding swords. The computing merchant made the most progress: he wrote "t-shirt." He handed the menu to the general manager. She misplaced it in the stacks of other food menus in the kitchen, so we had to start all over. It was then delegated to the customer service monkeys, but they became so unmotivated, they forgot to eat and regretfully expired. The graphic designer made a coffee stain on the menu and turned it into a drawing of a vampire cat, but that was no help at all. Finally, we locked ourselves in the conference room with a case of Bawls and the Office Space DVD for inspiration. Days went by and finally, a breakthrough. We now present to you the result of our toil. The description of our shirt: Meh. It's a t-shirt. 100% cotton black heavyweight t-shirt. "meh." printed on the front in white. Apathy included! And if you don't know what "meh." means, perhaps your life just doesn't properly suck.
Tech Support Staff
No matter how many times you break out the "No, I will not fix your computer" shirt, there are some people who just won't pay attention. They assume you're wearing that funny shirt for someone else. Those other people. The annoying ones. Any protestation will be wasted on these types. You ought to at least get credit for helping their sorry butts. This is what they see you as. Call them out for it. Also, on a less-cynical note, this would be a great shirt to wear to an event where you actually want and need to be identified as the Tech Support. Dual-purpose, if you will. The chest of this 100% cotton black shirt has a small logo made of a power symbol and a two-button mouse (chill out Appleaphiliacs) with a red plus symbol / cross thing and the words "Tech Support" in white. The back declares "STAFF Tech Support" also in white.
Molar Mole
Although Mole Day technically begins at 6:02 a.m. local time on 10/23 each year, we'll have to take your word for it. That's earlier than we like to be moving. Unless you're going to provide a mole of caffeine to wake us up. (With a molar mass of 194.2 g, one mole of caffeine would be enough to kill 19 normal humans or roughly 3 ThinkGeek customers, who've been working on their tolerance-levels for years.) At that hour of the day, we'd prefer to be the burrowing sort of mole. 6:02 p.m. we can totally handle, though. We'd be happy to raise a glass to chemists everywhere when Avogadro's evening number rolls around. A mole of pure water is just a sip, so we'll have to shop around for other potential liquids. With ethyl alcohol, you get basically the perfect amount for a shot, that is, if you wanted to do a shot of pure ethyl alcohol. Which, kids playing at home, you do NOT. 1) We ain't knocking back anything that's 200 proof. 2) Scientists have taught us many things, two of which are that we love our esophagi and benzene is not for human consumption. Do not want. No, seriously. Don't do it. Besides, you know what would be even better? Guacamole made with tasty, fresh Avocadros. Now that's a celebration of chemistry we can really dig into. Molé! A mole (the mammalian kind) made up of the Avogadro constant to two decimal places (6.02 x 1023) repeated over and over printed in white and black on this chestnut 100% cotton t-shirt.
Ultimate Hoodie Microfleece
Who is the wearer of the average hoodie? Hoodies are worn by preps, goths, jocks, party boys, and of course geeks (which is why we love them) - and just about every other style known to man. Even though its color, material and cut may vary wildly - any garment with a hood attached will probably always be referred to as a "hoodie." We've found the answer to your search for the ultimate hoodie. ScotteVest's patented Personal Area Network (PAN) provides integrated wire management for iPods and other devices right in the garment. Special earbud loops keep your music within easy reach. This version is made of black, lightweight micro fleece, thick enough to keep the chill off but thin enough that you can control your devices right through the fabric. Features: 11 Pockets, Personal Area Network (PAN), Weight Management System, Magnetic Pocket Closures, Collar Loops, HangingPockets, DeepPockets, Pen/Stylus Pockets, No-Bulge Pockets, Secret Pocket, Change Pockets, Key Holder, and Bottle Holder(s). Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. These are the measurements of the person wearing the shirt, not the shirt itself. S M L XL XXL XXXL Chest 36 in. 40 in. 44 in. 48 in. 52 in. 56 in. Waist 30 in. 34 in. 38 in. 42 in. 46 in. 50 in. Length 26 in. 27 in. 28 in. 29 in. 30 in. 31 in. Neck 14 1/2 in. 15 1/2 in. 16 1/2 in. 17 1/2 in. 18 1/2 in. 19 1/2 in. Sleeve Length 33 in. 34 in. 35 in. 36 in. 37 in. 37 in.
Capsaicin Molecule
The stuff chilis are made of, literally. Capsaicin is responsible for that bite and that pungency which makes chili peppers (at least the hotter varieties) such a challenge to eat. One word of advice, never touch a habanero and then use the restroom without first washing your hands thoroughly. A pepper's hotness is measured in Scoville Units. Pure capsaicin is lethal stuff, as it takes a 16 million-fold dilution of pure capsaicin for it not to be present on the Scoville Organoleptic Test. 0-100 - most Bell / Sweet pepper varieties 500-2,500 - Poblano peppers 2,500-8,000 - Jalapeno peppers 10,000-23,000 - Serrano peppers 30,000-50,000 - Cayenne and Tabasco peppers 50,000-100,000 - Chiltepin peppers 100,000-350,000 - Scotch Bonnet and Habanero peppers 350,000 to 580,000 - Red Savina peppers (a variety of habanero) 855,000 to 1,050,000 - Naga Jolokia peppers 15,000,000 -16,000,000 - Pure Capsaicin Maroon, 100% cotton t-shirt with the capsaicin molecule printed in bright red on the front.
Headphone Beanie Hat
How would you like to warm your head and surreptitiously listen to tunes at the same time? Well now you can with the Headphone Beanie Hat. This extra comfy beanie features integrated speakers inside the hat. Simply plug in your favorite music playing device to the cord in the back of the hat and crank up the volume. The speakers inside are adjustable to fit your personal ear location. Great for outdoor type activities where earbuds and headphones just won't do.
Think Globally
No matter what our political leanings, we all want to make a difference in this world. And we can all agree that as a species, humans are pretty variable. But, since we're not globally defined, all we can really do is act within our local variable scope. And that's just as well, because global variables are crap. You don't want a lot of variables floating out there uncontrolled, cluttering up your namespace and making it possible for more and more code to grow dependent on their existence (and even worse, modify them). Then you end up with cascading side effects, and it's all downhill from there. So we're okay with the fact that we have local variable scope. Otherwise, our powers might overwhelm the planet. We hate it when that happens. The phrase "Think Globally." in large type and, in a smaller font beneath, "Act Within Local Variable Scope." are printed on an eco-friendly 100% certified organic cotton, 4.3 oz. green t-shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X 3X Chest 36 in. 39 in. 42 in. 45 in. 48 in. 51 in.
Personal Area Network Microfleece Pullover
Let's face it, you really do not need a real coat when all you do is run from the house to the car to the coffee shop and then into the office. So we have the perfect answer for you... the microfleece pullover. It is a pullover with many secret surprises. The versatile microfleece pullover is a wardrobe necessity. The lightweight, breathable and wicking fabric is great for hiking, biking, travel..everything! The pullover has 5 pockets, including a specially designed chest pocket with a ZIP-PIP for sunglasses and "back-up," patent-pending magnetic closures. The Weight Management System (WMS) for this pocket was an R & D coup...you can't imagine how much testing went into this design. The pullover also features the patented Personal Area Network (PAN), a detachable key chain, an epaulet to attach devices, like walkie-talkies, ventilation eyelets and an adjustable waist cord. Available in black microfleece. Machine Washable. Features: 5 Hidden Pockets, Improved PAN, ZIP-PIP, Hidden Epaulet, Collar Loops, Detachable Key Holder, Subtle Reflective Accents, Special Sunglasses Pocket. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. These are the measurements of the person wearing the shirt, not the shirt itself. S M L XL XXL XXXL Chest 36 in. 40 in. 44 in. 48 in. 52 in. 56 in. Waist 30 in. 34 in. 38 in. 42 in. 46 in. 50 in. Length 29 1/4 in. 30 in. 31 in. 32 in. 33 in. 34 in. Neck 14 1/2 in. 15 1/2 in. 16 1/2 in. 17 1/2 in. 18 1/2 in. 19 1/2 in. Sleeve Length 33 in. 34 in. 35 in. 36 in. 37 in. 37 in.
I see dumb people.
As seen on The IT Crowd! Most people would think that the ability to tell a kernel hacker from the village idiot is a valuable trait to have. Sometimes though, we wish that it wasn't quite so easy to see the morons around us. What a blissful life we would lead if we weren't constantly surrounded by throngs of the intellectually challenged. How joyful the day would be if we didn't have to deal with questions, problems, complaints and rants from the everyday idiots, dullards and blockheads of this world. Call it a gift, call it a curse, but no matter how hard we try not to, we see dumb people. Lots of 'em. 100% cotton heavyweight black t-shirt with the phrase "I see dumb people" printed front and center in white ink.
HTTPanties
If you've ever run across a "403 Forbidden" error on a web site, it means you've either stumbled onto the wrong page, or you've been snooping where you shouldn't be! One nice thing about the Hypertext Transfer Protocol that runs the web (HTTP for short) is that it includes helpful status codes such as "404 Not Found" when a resource can't be found and "403 Forbidden" when the web site you're knocking at does not want you to come in. One rarely seen status code is the elusive "200 OK" which basically means that everything went fine, and you're seeing the page you're supposed to be seeing! We thought it sure would be handy if life came with status codes, but since it doesn't, we did the next best thing and printed them on stuff you wear. But not just any old stuff - we had to try something different, and print them on undies. So we bring you HTTPanties for the discriminating woman who would prefer a web-savvy and somewhat-direct approach in the romance department. Feeling frisky? Well then don the black "200 OK" panties and see where they take you. Alternatively, the white "403 Forbidden" style sends a very different and hopefully clear message. We think "411 Length Required" and "413 Requested Entity Too Large" are pretty self-explanatory. Our W3C Compliant HTTPanties are 100% cotton and very soft, comfortable and stretchy. They are designed to fit low and have full coverage in the back. NOTE: You may see pink and red versions of these in the action shots. Sadly, the manufacturer no longer makes these in those colors, so we've switched them all to black and white. Sizing Info: Small Medium Large Waist 25-26 in. 27-29 in. 30-32 in. Hips 34-36 in. 37-39 in. 40-42 in.
Left 4 Dead Zombie Survival Medkit Babydoll
You know, we can never find the first aid kit around the ThinkGeek offices when we need it. And when you think about it, that and a good fire extinguisher are pretty much the two requirements in an office where you fabricate flying R/C objects, solder assorted circuits, and evaluate various types of knives. Okay. First aid kit, fire extinguisher, and a lot of PowerSquids. But we digress. First aid. Hard to locate when you need it. If we each wore a medkit on our backs, we'd never have trouble finding bandaids and burn cream. Problem solved. Medkit printed in red and white on the back of a black, babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.
Do or Do Not
Sometimes a line of code eludes you. It's as difficult as... well, as lifting a sunken X-Wing out of the swamps of Dagobah. And when you're in that predicament, remember Yoda's sage advice. Perhaps if you remember it in this particular format, it'll spur you on to bigger and better coding. Or... not. We can't promise it'll help, but it can't hurt, right? Everything's better with Yoda. $DO ! $DO ; try try: command not found (aka "Do or do not. There is no try.") printed in white on a 100% cotton black t-shirt.
Allergic to Stupid People
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley... Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup. Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda... Brian: That's Street Fighter. Humans can be allergic to dogs. Dogs can be allergic to humans. Okay. So neither of them is allergic to the beast -- they're allergic to saliva or dander or something the mammal produces. Wouldn't it be awesome if stupid people put off something that identified them to your immune system as non-desirable? When the eau de idiot begins wafting your way, your histamines kick in. "I can't come to work today. There are too many stupid people there." Meetings that ran too long could cause people to go into anaphylactic shock. Not that that's a good thing. But we're all about shorter meetings. Brian from Family Guy is featured on this red, 100% cotton shirt with the words "I'm allergic to stupid people. Aaah-Choo."
Giga Pudding Shirt
In what may be the one and only time we can quote 4chan verbatim: PUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIP UDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPU DDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUD DIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDD IPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDIPUDDI And if you don't know what we're talking about, watch this video. By clicking this link you acknowledge your full comprehension that you may be singing this song like a Japanese child all hopped up on custard for the rest of the week. Don't say we didn't warn you. Giga Pudding mascot and logo on the front with many falling / stacked Giga Puddings on the back of a royal blue, 100% cotton t-shirt.
Babydoll of Ultimate Disambiguation
"No Plus No Equals No" - TMBG, "No!" We offer this shirt of ultimate disambiguation for your confused friends and colleagues. It's truly versatile. Works in a wide variety of situations. While you're there, I was wondering if you'd get me...? No. Could do me a favor and fix my comp...? No. Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry I have to contact you in this manner. I am the son of the former President of.... No. See what we mean? You don't even have to respond. Your shirt does it for you. So many opportunities for "No." So little time. "No." printed in white across the chest of a black babydoll (fitted) shirt. It's like the adult version of Milo Oblong's shirt. Slightly more subtle, but no less true.
Hello My Name Is Leeroy Jenkins
You may already be aware that we hate going to events that require nametags. We don't like encouraging strangers to talk to us. Plus, we always forget to take the damn thing off when we walk out of whatever it was that required the nametag, so we're headed home, stopping by the grocery store, accidentally encouraging the produce manager to address us by name. Which is just creepy. We dig this nametag, though. You wear it to some corporate event you know is going to require nametags, and you might get away an hour or two before somebody notices. Okay. Maybe 15 minutes. But there's the possibility that they'll find it funny enough that they'll let you go without. Don't work at that kind of place, huh? Well, at least let out your warcry before you slap the real nametag on over this one. White 100% cotton shirt with black and red "Hello my name is..." sticker over the chest, with "Leerooooooooooy Jenkins" on the tag (mostly) and the utterance "(At least I have chicken.)" below.
Offline Mode Pajama Top
With all the mobile devices and saturation of wireless coverage, you can't ever be sure if someone's online. Maybe they look like they're totally engaged in a conversation with you, but they've actually got their iPhone in their back pocket set to vibrate if they get new IMs. There's pretty much only one time you can be positive that someone is offline. Well two times. When they're dead, which we weren't going to make a shirt for, cause people usually have that outfit picked out in advance, and when they're asleep. That one we can totally make a shirt for, in this case a cami that our girl geeks can wear as a pajama top. You, know, still you can't be positive. She might be downloading updates to install when she reboots.... This is also great to wear on those vacations from everyone that we all need occasionally. Totally not getting online to check mail. Don't care what's going wrong. Right now, I'm going to focus on this mai tai.... 100% combed, ringspun cotton, spaghetti-strap tank top in black. Stretchy and fitted, with low shrinkage. "Offline Mode" printed in white across the chest. The sizing of the spaghetti strap tank is similar to the babydoll tees. See the Sizing Info tab above for more info.
1upcake Babydoll
1upcake: the ultimate combination of cute and utility. It not only offers extra life, but also frosting-y goodness. Plus, the cupcake, just like the 1up Mushroom, is the ultimate reward, better than cookies because it's moist and better than cake because it's portable. And you don't have to worry about the ratio of people to cake with 1upcakes. INGREDIENTS: Cotton, Mushroom, Water, Sugar, Enriched Wheat Flour, Whole Eggs, Soybean Oil, Nonfat Milk Powder, Salt, Baking Powder, Corn Starch, FD&C Yellow #6. This product is manufactured in a facility that also processes tree nuts. (Not really.) 1upcake printed on a 100% cotton, navy babydoll.
Domo-kun hoodie
For fans of the famous Japanese monster character Domo-kun, here's a great new shirt for you! This hoodie features the unmistakable face of Japan's most famous TV spokesmonster. Let everyone know you're a little different -- a great item for Domo-kun fans! 80% cotton, 20% polyester brown hoodie with front pocket aka kangaroo.
Doctor Who 11th Doctor's Jacket
There are three kinds of people who can wear this jacket. 1. Old professors with half-smoked pipes held precariously in their teeth as they consult faded, leather bound copies of lost apocrypha scribed by ancient (legend has it even headless) monks in dank cellars beneath castle keeps in lands faded by time. 2. Writers in movies, especially horror movies involving English teachers. We're not sure why, but this seems to be the jacket of choice for men about to uncover some heinous, misbegotten crime against life, usually in a cabin in the woods, all while working on the next Great American Novel. 3. Renegade timelords and the fans that adore them. By which we mean you. Here at ThinkGeek World Domination Headquarters, this fine jacket is the apparel of choice. We wear it in the streets of our local metropolis, while waving our sonic screwdrivers and making vague and unusual comments within earshot of visiting tourists. (Things like: "So this is what it looked like before it was bronzed and placed on the moon. I told you it didn't used to float!", and our favorite, "There he is, before he became president! Quick, take a reading so we can settle this whole clone debate now."), or just to lounge about knowing that we're cool. Product Specifications Replica of the jacket Matt Smith wears as The Doctor in Season 6 Fully lined, quality craftsmanship, suitable for everyday wear Pockets! Inside pockets, outside pockets, and all functional Plaid like you've never seen. Really. The plaid-pattern for this fabric is unique to the 11th Doctor's jacket. Back kick pleat, for all your back kicking pleating needs Elbow patches? 100% leather. We take our patches seriously, folks. Check the table below to determine your size (when in doubt, order the larger size) S M L XL 2X Chest circumference 36" 40" 44" 48" 52" Waist circumference 30" 34" 38" 42" 46" Shoulder width 17" 18" 19" 20" 21" Sleeve length 25.5" 26" 26.5" 27" 27" Finished Length 29" 30" 31" 32" 32"
Plotting for Your Heart
It's been a long time since high school math for some of us, so we got WolframAlpha to help us out on this shirt design. We knew what we wanted to do, and we knew that there were multiple ways to do it. WolframAlpha elegantly graphed a bunch of our options for us, and we went with this one. We love it. We hope you love it. And we hope you love someone who also loves it (and you). Equation in white on front and implicit heart plot in white and red on the back of this black, 100% cotton t-shirt.
Duct Tape Tie
//--> The life of an engineer is typically a dirty one. Mucking about in machinery, or hunched over a drafting board, or stringing cabling across and through the office, it’s almost impossible to keep clean. Though, sometimes, you’re called upon to meet with “The Suits” upstairs. When there, you’re expected to be presentable. That means, you’ll be asked to wear a tie. No good engineer wears a tie. Even the best of us gets loose fitting clothing caught in a gear, or scorched by a Bunsen burner. They’re impractical, and often garish and uncomfortable. Doesn’t matter - you’re still expected to have and wear a tie. The question becomes - what kind of tie? Some novelty piece of polyester shaped like a fish? Dear God, no. Get a tie that says something about who you are - one that tells the suits upstairs that you’ll play their game, but you’ll play by your own rules. Yes - your tie is made of duct tape. Layered, trimmed and shaped into the perfect tie, but made entirely out of duct tape, you can tie the Duct Tape Tie just like a regular silk tie, just seriously cooler. Now, step into that board meeting and take control. Give those suits the update that they wanted, but don’t give them an inch of your style.
Declare Variables, Not War
As the contestant and the celebrity (which in our version is totally William Shatner) take their specially designated seats in the winner's circle, the jazzy music stops and a hush falls over the studio audience. The lights dim, the main illumination being provided by the glowing pyramid behind the two figures. Dick Clark announces that the contestant has chosen to receive. The celebrity fixes his gaze upon the board, as if willing the first tile to turn around. And, like magic, it does, and the clock begins to count up from 00. The celebrity furrows his brow for a moment before launching into a stream of words. "Bankruptcy." "Victory." He studies the contestant's face for a moment. "Strange fruits and plants when going through Customs." "Uh... hmm. War." "Variables." Tumbling out of the contestant's mouth as quickly as possible come the words, "Things you declare." And the next tile flips. Yeah, probably most of y'all are too young to remember this. Back in my day, we used to walk barefoot in the snow to watch game shows. We had 4 channels, and we had to get up to change between them. And we liked it! I'll take "What are whiny old-timers?" for 100, Alex. "Declare Variables, Not War." is printed in white on a black, 100% cotton t-shirt.
I Void Warranties Babydoll
DIY may be all the rage now, but you've been doing it all your life. You took apart your Barbie dolls to see how their joints were hinged. You extruded various products from your Play Doh Barbershop to gauge their elasticity and comparative drying times. Today you have knitting callouses alongside your soldering iron scars, war-wounds from your modding days. Old issues of Make Magazine and ReadyMade line your Ikea Hacker coffee table, filled with projects in temporary stasis just waiting for you to take them on. Cotton black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt with the phrase 'I void warranties' on it front and center. Beneath the phrase are nine different types of screwdriver heads - including Clutchead, Hex, Bristol, Robertson Square-Tips and Torx! Note that this is a slightly distressed print, which means it is intentionally aged, missing a few bits of ink here and there.
The Babe With the Power Creeper
We started this out as a babydoll, but you guys clamored for us to make it for the tiny ones. So we did. Your child might be the one or you might have some geek friends who have a child who reminds you of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? Remind me of the babe. Well, good. Now that we have that straightened out.... "The Babe With the Power" in various shades of blue on a black lap-shoulder creeper. Please reference the table below to choose a size. 6 mo. 12 mo. 18 mo. 24 mo. Chest 19 1/2 in. 20 1/2 in. 21 1/2 in. 22 1/2 in. Front Length 16 1/4 in. 17 1/2 in. 18 1/2 in. 19 1/2 in.
T-Qualizer Shirt
Here at ThinkGeek we're constantly amazed at the never-ending evolution of new technology. Hey, it's our job. Take the lowly T-Shirt for example: In caveman times you had animal pelts... the Medieval era saw rise to the stylish burlap sack... next came lovely soft cotton and then synthetic polyester. Finally the modern space age delivers a fully functioning graphic equalizer in a handy t-shirt format. Party like it's 2999 with the glowing display on the T-Qualizer that dynamically changes with any ambient sound or music. This has to be the coolest wearable tech we've seen since the George Foreman backpack grill.
Vitruvian Minecraft
Hey, it's Steve! You know Steve. His perfect, blocky proportions are highlighted on this remix of da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, suggested by one of our customers. He's surrounded by notes and sketches, as if he's been ripped right out of Notch's sketchbook. The copy for the da Vinci-esque notes on the nature of the Minecraft universe was provided by our head of evil schemes and nefarious plans (referred to in the common parlance as "marketing"), Jamie Grove. It's kind of hard to read in the scripty, "I'm writing this with a quill" font, so we're reproducing it here for your elucidation: Next to the sword One must become terrible and fierce in the company of mobs Next to the piston Machine for pushing blocks by means of redstone power Next to the pickaxe Let no man, who is not a stone mason, read the elements of my work Next to the blocks That shall be brought forth out of dark and obscure caves... Bottom text Every world is the termination of a number of chunks, which converge to form a map. Theoretically, the map could extend forever but for technical reasons the base is approximately eight times the surface of the earth, while the vertical plane remains a constant 128-block height. We'll admit that we agonized a bit over the private parts. Do we include them? Do we not? We had this version, and we made a version with a fig leaf, which looked really out of place, and then we made one where Steve's private parts showed (and they were hilarious), but it got nixed by our favorite Swedes, who didn't want anybody messing around with Steve's junk. Which we understand. We didn't really want to go there in the first place. Hence this clean version. Vitruvian Steve hangs out on this sand-colored, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear.
Photosynthesis UV-Sensitive Ladies' Shirt
Everybody likes photosynthesis. It's hard not to if you breathe. When we saw the new UV-sensitive ink, we knew what we had to use it for. Plus, printing the formula for photosynthesis on a shirt that reacts to sunlight is our super sneaky way of getting more Vitamin D into our customers. Here's how the shirt reads: 6CO2 + 6H2O + photons -> C6H12O6 + 6O2 Leaves and roots grow out of the formula when the shirt is exposed to UV light. The leaves and roots are visible but very faint indoors. The whole glorious mess is printed on an eco-friendly 100% certified organic cotton, 4.3 oz. natural (off-white) ladies' shirt. For maximum life of the design, machine wash cold, inside out. Do not iron. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL 2X Chest 31 in. 34 in. 36 in. 38 in. 42 in.
11 Cheers for Binary!
We were going to write this copy in binary, but then we thought of your loved ones who may be buying this for you. Said loved ones may or may not be familiar with the long strings of ones and zeroes that make up binary and they may or may not assume that their computers have caught the smallpox upon reaching this page filled with ones and zeros and may or may not cancel their transaction. And then you'd never get this shirt. So, here we go with the greatly abbreviated binary which totally doesn't look like your computer caught the smallpox: 01101111011010000110000101101001 (It caught the LOLtoxoplasmosis instead.) "11 Cheers for Binary" in white ink on a black 100% cotton t-shirt.
Not Here To Make Friends
The monkeys at ThinkGeek World Domination HQ are fans of public radio. Every time we hear them mention the "in-kind food donation" for the volunteers who answer the phones during the pledge drive we wonder if we should give a corporate gift. But volunteers with the jitters taking your personal information probably isn't reassuring. So we'll stick to the donations at the personal level for now. We bring this up because two of the monkeys were listening to the same rebroadcast of This American Life (from WBEZ Chicago) a couple months back. In episode 389, entitled "Frenemies", Rich Juzwiak has a piece about how "I'm not here to make friends" has become the mantra of reality television show flunkies. He's put together two 3 minute montages, which you can see on his pop-culture blog fourfour. Basically every reality show that ever existed and (also some you didn't know existed) has this phrase in common. He argues that it's possibly the actors' attempt to reclaim their presentation and that, ironically, there's no "real-life" situation where this would apply. You're infrequently trapped with a bunch of other people, and, when you are, generally it's not to your advantage to declare to them that you don't plan to be nice to them. See, this is where knowing our customer comes in. Because we think you would wear this shirt. Why? Because we would wear this shirt. Allow us to list some perfect opportunities for the debut of your "Not Here To Make Friends" shirt: the CEO's presentation introducing the new matrixed corporate structure, some off-site event where all the employees are supposed to hold hands and sing "Kumbayah," and, of course, those HR-mandated anger management classes. If they wouldn't be so stupid, you wouldn't have to get angry. Why don't they have to take smartness classes? *sigh* We feel your pain. "Not here to make friends." in white on a black 100% cotton t-shirt.
I see dead pixels.
As seen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall! We challenge anybody who's plunked down the big bucks for a nice LCD monitor, TV or PSP not to cry out in terror if they see the dreaded dead pixel. It's a horror that we wouldn't want to experience, no matter how few there might be. We're shuddering just thinking about it. ugh... Black like a dead pixel, this shirt is 100% heavyweight cotton with "I see dead pixels" printed in white with a few randomly deceased pixels. Scary, ain't it?
nom nom nom Bib
Your little ones might not be on solids yet, but there's no reason they can't sport our nom nom nom bib. The happy little sandwich is clearly elated about being eaten, offering positive reinforcement with each tasty bite. This white bib with black contrast binding around the edges features a happy little sandwich with the subtitle "nom nom nom." It's made from 100% cotton terrycloth. It has a reinforced, two-snap closure for the neck. The front of the bib extends 8 inches below the neck and 9 inches across to keep noms off baby most effectively.
I Recycle
Some folks are about the high ideals of saving the environment; you're more into practical application of the concepts. By wearing the same shirt two days in a row, you managed to avoid using 40 gallons of water to wash and 4 kilowatt-hours to dry a perfectly rewearable shirt. Hey -- if you avoid Italian for dinner, you might be able to make it three. But be sure to do the sniff test. You wouldn't want to lose friends over your dedication to the environment. As an added bonus, you didn't have to hang out in the laundry room. Back when we were in college (and, yes, we're dating ourselves), we could finger the soda machine to find out what temperature the sodas were or how many Mountain Dew were left, but we're jealous of today's students. They can now go online to find out if any washers are open, pay for the laundry with their student ID, and then receive an e-mail alert when the washer and/or dryer is done. No more carrying rolls of quarters down the hall only to be confronted by your wet underwear unceremoniously dumped on top of the washing machine. Not that we're bitter or anything. "I Recycle; I Wore This Shirt Yesterday" on a 100% cotton military green t-shirt.
Fustercluck
The thing about any office space is that it tends to resemble every other office space you've ever been in. Same circus, different clowns. Or in this case, chickens. If any of these sound familiar to you, you may be working in a fustercluck situation: Listening to eight evil boss chickens clucking something about TPS reports. Attending a goodbye party for the department of people that was fired, followed the next day by the welcome wagon party for the 15 new hires. Sitting in meetings that you're pretty sure were called because someone was lonely and wanted to use a laser pointer. Hearing every word of your coworker's phone conversation with his proctologist. Having a burning desire to ask the e-mail admin to disable the "reply all" function. There is only one sure-fire cure to the fustercluck, and that is getting a job at ThinkGeek. There may be some cluckery, but we try to keep the fustering down to a minimum. Office chickens in a meeting on a 100% cotton indigo t-shirt.
Minecraft Creeper Kids' Tee
ThinkGeek is your source for officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Retro-graphics. Simplistic gameplay. Minecraft takes gaming back to basics. Punching trees and rocks or digging tunnels, you slowly gather an arsenal of weapons and tools to fend off the spiders, skeletons, zombies, and exploding Creepers that are a constant threat. The exploding Creeper is our nemesis. We know you feel our pain. Sometimes it's fun to be the bad guy, though. Taking those dreams and shattering them. We recommend you wear this shirt around: Playing card structures Jenga tournaments The set of any OK Go video Black pixelated face on an Irish green 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Note: The color of the infant, kids', and ladies' version of this match. The men's is a little different, but as close as we could get to the pixelated goodness of the Creeper. Please reference the table below to choose your size. XS S M Chest 26 in. 28 in. 31 in. Front Length 18 in. 20 in. 22 in. Youth Sizing 4 6-8 10-12
Made With Love (and Science) Creeper
Let's face it. Science makes everything better. Caffeine? Good. Caffeine + electrolytes + intravenous therapy = awesome. Diet Coke? Good. (Work with us here.) Diet Coke + Mentos + fluid dynamics = tasty asplosion. Static electricity? Good. (We did mention you were going to have to work with us, right?) Static electricity + mylar + Van de Graaff generator = hours of enjoyment. *clears throat* Love? Good. Love + science = new minion to assist in your quest to take over the world! Yay! Who wouldn't want that? This 100% combed ringspun cotton creeper features the words "Made with Love (and Science)" in yellow on deep turquoise fabric. Reinforced three-snap closure and lap-sleeves..
The Angels Have the Phone Box Babydoll
A ThinkGeek exclusive! "The angels have the phone box." That's my favorite. I've got that on a t-shirt!-Larry Nightingale, "Blink" As soon as we watched this episode, we knew we had a unique responsibility. Our customers recognized it, too. You guys wrote in asking where this shirt was, because you somehow knew it was ours. So we talked to our friends at one of our vendors who has the Doctor Who license and told them we needed this shirt. They gave us a few versions, and finally we got to this one and said, "That's it! Print it! Hurry!" Cause we have something we have to do. *stuffs men's t-shirt into an manila envelope, writes "For Larry Nightingale" on the outside of the envelope* Can anybody point me to the 2006 weeping angel? "The Angels Have the Phone Box" with a picture of the TARDIS on the front of this black, babydoll (fitted) shirt. The back features a small version of the current Doctor Who logo.
Aperture Laboratories Polo Shirt
Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Employee Application and Immersion Training Suite. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Note that this chamber will be monitored at all times. We have found that through careful monitoring, we can more accurately determine which subjects are most likely to result in spectacular progress and choose the most promising subjects to conduct our research. For your own safety, do not destroy Vital Testing Apparatus. If you are a first time applicant, please type "CONTINUE". Aperture Laboratories logo embroidered in black on the right side of a silver, soft jersey polo. Neck has four buttons and a structured collar that holds its shape through repeated washing. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 35 in. 39 in. 43 in. 47 in. Waist 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in.
Power Polo Shirt
Based on our supremely popular power symbol t-shirt, the Power Golf Shirt is its dressier companion. Not exactly a "power tie", but with a power symbol embroidered on the left chest in a light green color (as if it glows in the dark, but it doesn't), you'll feel kinda sorta powerful. Maybe. Light green power symbol embroidered on a black, heavyweight 7 oz. 100% cotton pique golf shirt. Yarn-dyed for sharp color fastness. 3-button placket welt collar and cuffs, with spiffy woodtone buttons.
Merlotte's Bar and Grill Waitress Uniform
Come work for Merlotte's Bar and Grill, consistently rated #1 bar in Bon Temps, Louisiana (it helps that we're the only one). Must provide prompt and courteous service to patrons, make menu and daily special recommendations. Hours vary. This is a family place. Locals only. Interested applicants should ask for Sam. Note to copy editor: Because of our high turnover, please run ad continuously. Merlotte's Bar and Grill logo over the chest with the words TrueBlood in grey beneath on a white, fashion-weight (which means it's thin and soft) babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. This is a more straight-cut shirt than many of our offerings, meaning the waist measurement isn't significantly smaller than the chest. S M L XL 2X Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 37 in. 40 in. Waist 27 in. 29 in. 31 in. 33 in. 35 in. Length 25 3/8 in. 26 in. 26 5/8 in. 27 1/4 in. 27 7/8 in.
Zombie Identification Chart
In case of zombie apocalypse, the most important thing is to know what you're working with. Identify your tools and figure out what type of undead you're up against. You might be prepared to tear a zombie in half with a machine gun. Effective against a 28 Days Later zombie. Not so effective for a Romero zombie. Which conveniently brings us to the list: Crawler - These are often zombies torn in half by stupid people with machine guns who don't get the "destroy the brain" concept, but these can also be zombies who had accessibility issues in life. They don't move very fast, but if you forget to look down, you'll regret it. Shambler - In all likelihood, this is the sort of zombie you'll be up against. Remember: you move faster than they do. Aim for the head. And if you're going to back yourself into an alley, make sure it's well-stocked with ammo. Walker - Despite the sneak-attack powers of the crawler zombie, the Walkers are the sneakiest of the bunch. That's because they look normal. Maybe slightly green. As if they have the stomach flu. And you're all, "Oh hey, Bob. How're you doing? You wanna help me with the.... OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE NOT BOB!!!" We recommend offing all your friends named Bob now to avoid the problem in the future. Runner - Nitpickers will point out that these are often not actual zombies but infected humans. Others will point out that the nitpickers probably aren't currently being chased by said zombies and so should shut their traps. Thriller - The dangerous thing about Thriller zombies is their coordination. Sure, any other type of zombies will eventually gravitate to form a mob, but Thriller zombies will eat your brains as a matching synchronized horde. Zombie Identification Chart in black and red (you've got red on you) on an ice grey 100% cotton t-shirt.
Batman Cuff Links
Obviously, Bruce Wayne could never wear these cufflinks. For starters, we're pretty sure the yellow matches The Joker's color palette a little more than Bruce's. Bright yellow just isn't a high society playboy color, you know? But the more obvious reason is that wearing Batman cufflinks would put his anonymity in danger. Then again, who would suspect the man behind the Dark Knight to be wearing his own symbol as cufflinks? Perhaps Bruce would wear these after all... Thankfully YOU are not Batman, so wearing these cufflinks does not pose any sort of threat to your anonymity or your fashion sense. In fact, we'd hazard a guess that you're probably looking at these because you have to buy cufflinks for some fancy occasion and the idea of "normal" ones totally bores you. Trust us, we grok. That's why we have these Classic Batman logo cufflinks. They're not only fancy enough to wear to your wedding, but they're also an officially licensed DC Comics product, so your geek cred will never be questioned. Score.
Periodic BeEr
We're going to bet that you are currently not drinking beer because you're at work, and unlike ThinkGeek World Domination HQ (which has a Beer Fairy), casual imbibing is frowned upon in your office. There, there. It's going to be okay. You know, we have job openings. Just sayin'. You know what makes us feel better? Learnin' stuff. So let's get to it. Despite what this shirt suggests, your beer should not contain either beryllium or erbium. If it does, you need to seriously consider switching to another brewer. Carlsberg Brewery was the location of Søren Sorensen's work on the pH scale. "Skunked" beer is more properly termed "light-struck." When UV light hits beer, it kicks off a chemical reaction, breaking down the isohumulones and creating 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol. It's an organosulfur compound, the same thing a skunk sprays. Good for scaring off predators. Bad for beer. Beryllium and Erbium printed with their atomic properties in white on a beer-colored, 100% cotton t-shirt. Okay. So it may not be the same color as your beer of choice, if you drink, say, pilsner or stout. We aimed for the middle ground to cover most of our beer drinkers. Oh, and please wear responsibly.
srsly?
Theoretically, text-speak is supposed to save you time. But no T9 Prediction engine is going to take "srsly" as a word. Ours gives us Spr? before it chokes. "Wait!" we can hear its little SIM-card brain screaming. "Only one of those things can possibly be a vowel, and then only sometimes! Plus, it's at the END of the word." Your phone totally hates you a little bit now. Sure, you can turn Prediction off, but who wants to hit the 7 key four times every time you need to make something plural? Saving time: that's not helping. "srsly?" in white ink on a black 100% cotton t-shirt. That's it. srsly.
Refill Required
It's Monday afternoon. You've got an important TPS report due in the next hour. You absentmindedly reach for your coffee cup and notice it's way lighter than it should be. As you tip it skyward, you realize that your human fuel is at a catastrophically low level. You're running on fumes! Your body is awash with panic. Can you get a refill that will propel you across the Excel finish line before the dreaded jitters, shakes, and headaches set in? Or will your engine stop in mid-keystroke? This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a black, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features a coffee cup with dangerously low power level symbols. It's printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek's shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.
Wonder Woman Costume Babydoll
In the past we've shied away from carrying superhero logo costume-style t-shirts. When you can find Green Lantern or the Flash on the racks at your local SuperChainMart, that's a product ThinkGeek doesn't need to pick up. And then we saw these. They're unique. We knew we had to carry them for our crowd of female comic book fans. They're not subtle, but they're also not over the top. These are costumey without being cosplay. Basically, depending on how you accessorize the shirt, you can play up or down its kitchiness. Red, 100% cotton shirt with the Wonder Woman logo, belt and the top of the stars printed off the bottom hem of the shirt. The back is blank. Note that this is longer in length than our standard babydolls. It comes down around your hips for the full costume-but-not-costume effect. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL Chest 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. 36 in. Waist 28 in. 30 in. 32 in. 34 in. Length 24 in. 25 in. 26 in. 27 in.
Serenity in Flight
One of the main characters of Firefly is Serenity herself, with all her quirks and surprises. Here are a couple of facts you might not have considered before. The ship could fit on a football field, hanging over the sidelines 5 ft. each way, which probably wouldn't even knock over the Gatorade cooler. The cargo capacity is 164,900 pounds, which is just over 7000 black-market beagles. Also, we would like to point out that we think it's really cool that Google has astronomical units to lightyears as one of their default conversions from the search box. This shirt features Serenity against a sunburst and a field of stars on a 100% cotton black t-shirt, along with the four Chinese characters which represent the phrase "Never Give Up" down the right side.
Slurm Babydoll
We'd like to thank you, the masses, for making our new "the first one's free!" campaign such a success. So we're offering this commemorative Slurm t-shirt for your purchase! This is the perfect shirt to let others know how much you love our secret blend of over 900 herbs and spices. Look for the bottlecap to win a visit to the planet Wormulon for the Slurm Factory Tour! For those of you who haven't yet tried Slurm, we encourage you to! Now. Much like an excessive dose of radiation, Slurm gives you that healthy green glow. And also possibly superpowers.1 Plus, it's good for you!2 "Enjoy Slurm" is printed, slightly distressed, on a purple cotton babydoll (fitted) shirt. 1 The Bureau Of Soft Drinks, Tobacco, and Firearms has not reviewed this statement for accuracy. 2 Note: Slurm has been found to cause cancer in laboratory humans.
Broken Image Necklace
Green circles, red triangles, and blue squares. No, these are not the the latest polygons in the Lucky Charms lineup. They're your friendly "broken image" icon component parts, er, well, maybe not yours. Depending on your browser, YBIIMV (Your Broken Image Icon May Vary). Hang the broken image symbol around your neck, and voila. Your necklace has failed to load. It's a freaking clever idea we couldn't resist. The necklace is on a 17" leather cord closed with a sterling silver clasp. The pendant itself is lightweight, made from non-toxic shrink plastic (with a protective coating) and measures about 1 inch square. These are handmade by the artist in California, so expect some slight variation which betrays they were not made by a robot. At least, not so far as we know, but we didn't do a Turing test on her.
2D Glasses
3D Movies. You've got to love them right? But when in-your-face special effects turn into headache-inducing nausea... the fun is over. What's more, all your friends love 3D movies. You've been there before, a movie is playing in both 2D and 3D, all your friends want to see the 3D version... so what can you do? Easy! Deliver old skool 2D images to your tired eyes with the 3D to 2D Glasses. The De-3D glasses eliminate the 3D effect from 3D movies, allowing you to watch in the comfort of 2D. How do they work you say? In a traditional 3D movie, two images are displayed overlapped on the movie screen. Standard 3D glasses filter these images allowing one to be seen by the right eye and the other to be seen by the left eye. The difference between the two images creates the 3D effect and also the annoying eyestrain and headaches you may have experienced. The De-3D glasses are specially designed to eliminate the left eye image and show only the right eye image to both eyes. In double-blind scientific tests it was determined that when watching 3-D movies the right-eye image was consistently more action packed and and humorous than the left-eye image. Amazing but true. So next time when your friends want to go see a 3D movie bring your De-3D glasses and you'll have the confidence to tag along knowing that you'll be able to experience the best of the cinema with none of the motion sickness, headaches or nausea. Your friends will thank you too... for not puking on their shoes. Product Specifications Cinema Style 3D glasses eliminate 3D effect for more pleasurable movie viewing Converts standard 3D movies in to relaxing 2D Eliminates headaches and nausea associated with 3D movie viewing Works with current 3D movies in theaters using RealD 3D technology View 3D movies comfortably with your 3D loving friends High quality radial polarized optics for a smooth picture Solid Black ABS plastic construction for years of 3D eliminating performance
Zombie Protest Hoodie
Congratulations! We're glad you're ready to fight for zombie rights. This article outlines some of the steps involved and the associated pitfalls to avoid when planning a successful zombie gathering. Leadership. As you know, it is vital that some of the living remain in positions of leadership in the organization to provide the necessary motivation and thought-process behind running a large organization. Although, for consistency, you probably want your highest official to be a zombie in order to have him speak incoherently at corporate meetings and drool convincingly in discussions with politicians. However, leadership at the event should be an intelligent human, sympathetic to zombie rights. As the event coordinator, this human can provide guidance via a megaphone and also serves as a rallying point around which zombies will gather. Occasionally this "gathering" leads to "dismemberment" so you want to ensure that your event coordinator is expendable. This position fits nicely for zombie-rights activists hoping to transition to the less-demanding, zombie lifestyle. Attendance. You might have a whole legion of supporters, but it's important to mobilize your zombie protesters so that they show up on the day of the event. Plan ahead so that folks can put it on their calendars. You can notify the mindless via your MySpace or Facebook account. Pass out leaflets to ensure the interested are notified. We've found that promising that there will be beer and brains brings the college-aged zombies out en masse in particular. Location. We recommend a popular location with high-visibility for maximum exposure to the uninitiated. Although some organizations prefer the march, we find it easier to choose a specific place to protest. Shambling does not lend itself to marching, and zombies tend to get distracted more easily while in motion. Check with your local city hall to find out if you need a permit to gather at the location you've chosen. Remember that some of your supporters undoubtedly have physical impairments, so ensure your site is fully accessible. Coverage. It's important to get your event covered by the media so that your reach is greater than those present at the event. After all, they all may have been eaten, even the well-intentioned, amenable-to-Zombie-rights ones (sometimes they're the tastiest). Documentary film makers, such as George A. Romero, are an indispensable resource in getting the word out. Make use of them as whenever possible. "Zombies Were People Too" on a sandwich-board-clad zombie in black, blood red, and rotting-flesh green on an olive green, 80/20 cotton/poly blend hoodie. We really dig this hoodie. It's really soft with exposed seams, a 2-way front zipper, and kangaroo pockets. Care instructions: Machine wash cold. Wash inside out with like colors. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. Note: Please reference the table below to choose your size. S M L XL XXL Chest 42 in. 44 in. 47 in. 50 in. 53 in. Length 27 1/2 in. 28 1/2 i...
Utilikilt
What are ye starin' at, ye wee girl?! This be no skirt, this be a Utilikilt! Fashioned after the traditional garb of the Celtic warrior. Now of course ye know, William Wallace has ne'er worn a kilt - they weren't invented until Willie had been stone dead for nearly four-hundred years, but they're still all about freedom! Made from a poly-cotton blend so it's durable and yet soft. It's got lots of pockets for your crap, so you can carry a cellphone, or screwdrivers, or a beer should the need arise. Big riveted snaps keep everything safe and secure, including your manhood. Even geek demi-god Patrick Norton proudly wears his Utilikilt! Now, PAY ATTENTION! Those pants you're wearing - odds are the waist size is a lie! If you're used to wearing size 34 jeans, it's likely you'll need a size 36 Utilikilt. Oi! You! I said PAY ATTENTION! Get out a tape measure and measure your waist with yer sissy-boy pants ON! See that number? That's the size you need. I don't want to be hearin' any of you crying to yer mum, "Oh, I bought the wrong size!" Man-up, ye precious thing and get it right the first time!
Fart in Your General Direction
This shirt is dedicated to all the holy grail fans who enjoy using their potential methane emissions as a threat. You know who you are. We know you're out there because we have brothers and dads that sat on us and gas-saulted our sensitive noses. Our hamster mothers just looked the other way, too. And let's put it nicely - it didn't smell of elderberries. "I fart in your general direction" printed toward the bottom on THE BACK of a black 100% cotton t-shirt. It's kind of a distressed font and not so big, because you really want your victims to have to lean in to read it. *sniggers*
Phi by Numbers
We think this is the most beautiful shirt we've ever made, but you might say that's irrational. *rimshot* Hey -- you're still reading! Score. So, let's talk about Phi. Phi's a number with a lot of baggage. Lots of folks make claims about it that it doesn't know about that then make it look bad. So let's go with the facts. Phi is an infinite non-repeating decimal. If we had to hum a few bars, it'd start off 1.61803. Phi is that number which is equal to its reciprocal plus one. It's related to the Fibonacci sequence. If you take a Fibonacci number, add it to the previous Fibonacci number, and divide the sum by that original Fibonacci number, you approximate Phi. It is the basis of the golden ratio. Remember analogies? Good. Two items are in golden ratio when the whole is to the larger part as the larger part is to the smaller part. The golden ratio is supposedly aesthetically pleasing, but at this point we're veering away from the facts.... Lowercase Phi is just more visually pleasing than uppercase Phi, and it has that all important quality -- you can draw it without having to lift your pencil. Aesthetes and slackers unite! Cardinal red, 100% cotton t-shirt with the Phi symbol in white ink on it. The first 2298 digits of Phi were used to construct the Phi symbol itself.
RTFM
RTFM is not having to say you are sorry. RTFM is a big chromatic dragon with bloodshot beady eyes and fangs the size of oars. RTFM is me screaming at you as fireballs come out of my mouth to get off your precious no-good tush, march down to the local bookstore or MAN page repository, and get the eff off my back because I'm trying very hard to get some freakin' work done. Jeez.
Go For Launch
Since NASA is retiring the Space Shuttle program, they're going to have a lot of equipment they won't need any more, so we're gonna borrow some. First we'll sign out two empty solid rocket boosters and fill them with 1,100,000 pounds of propellant. And by "propellant," we mean Mentos. 13,538,462 of them or 967,033 rolls. Then, we'll need an external tank, which is a little trickier since they're not recovered. Hopefully they have an extra one laying about someplace. Or, hey. I bet the National Air and Space Museum right down the road has one we could borrow. Instead of filling it with liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen, though, we'll fill it with liquid Diet Coke. 528616 gallons of it. And then 70 miles above the Earth, the tank will be jettisoned to fall in a large plastics recycling container in a remote section of ocean. Cause that's how we roll. This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a royal blue, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features the Space Shuttle orbiter unit with a bottle of Diet Coke and two packs of Mentos strapped to it. It's printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek's shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.
The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me
Table-top gamers tend to be a superstitious bunch. Maybe it goes hand in hand with the in-game proof that praying to the god of your choice can make your arrow fly more accurately. Or maybe it's the result of a chemical compound produced in the gourmet gestalt of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Whatever it is, we definitely have our rituals and eccentricities. One of the ThinkGeek Monkeys was in a group once in which one of the players would begin rolling before the game started, declaring he was "getting all the bad rolls out." Another would chide him because he was "wasting all his good rolls." But we all feel there's something more to the dice than just random chance. When the dice control life and death, they become imbued with powers beyond stochastic phenomena. We've all had The Good Dice and The Bad Dice. This shirt memorializes that horrific night everyone has had when your dice were out to get you. You'll roll a critical failure, or worse, a nearly critical failure, manage to hit, and then do so little damage you actually *heal* the enemy, because laughter has healing properties and the enemy can't stop laughing at your feeble attempts. And then, when the enemy's turn comes around, it involves a save-or-suffer-horrible-consequences effect, and you fail your saving throw. Because that's just how we roll. Sometimes. Unfortunately. "The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me" printed in black on a 100% cotton, charcoal gray t-shirt with seven polyhedral dice with really bad rolls scattered around the text.
Miracle Max's Pharmacy
The best part about being a miracle worker is that you're not tied down to the rules and regulations of traditional medicine. Hippo-what Oath? Whatever. If there's a noble cause, like ruining the wedding of the king's stinking son who fired you, then you can do whatever it takes to bring the mostly dead back to life. And if the mostly dead turns out to be all dead, you can scrounge around in his pockets for loose change. Maybe even enough money to buy a delicious MLT, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... But we digress. The handbill printed on this 100% cotton, sand-colored shirt is a movable advertisement for Miracle Max's services. Discounts for noble causes. Hie-diddle-ick dal-da-naysha!
You Never Forget Your First Doctor
We decided to make a shirt in tribute to one of the first traumatic experiences in life -- the visit to the pediatrician. It involves hanging out in waiting rooms with sick kids, toys you're not allowed to play with because other sick kids have been touching them, and an oversized children's Bible as the only reading material for folks under 3 feet tall. When you finally see the pediatrician, he does something to distract you so he can give you a shot, and all you get in return is a lollipop. Not a fair trade. Our 100% cotton black shirt features the phrase "You Never Forget Your First Doctor" under an inexplicable picture of an old-style British police phone box with a white starburst behind it. We have no idea what's going on with that.
Domo-kun Face
For fans of the Japanese monster character Domo-kun, here's a great new shirt for you! A high quality 100% cotton T-shirt features the unmistakable face of Japan's most famous TV spokesmonster. Let everyone know you're a little different -- a great item for Domo-kun fans! 100% cotton heavyweight brown t-shirt.
Kill You With My Brain Babydoll
The statement on this shirt is great. It's not just a reference to one of our favorite pop culture phenomena, because ... think about it. You probably could kill people with your brain. Have a psionic character in an RPG? Ding. Know how to mix acids and bases? Ding. Use dangerous skills learned on MythBusters for fun and profit? Ding. There are so many opportunities to use your mind as a dangerous weapon we're surprised you don't have to have it registered. The best part? When you're wearing a shirt with this sort of sentiment people aren't likely to stop you and ask you to clarify. "Also, I can kill you with my brain." in white ink on a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.
Hello My Name Is Inigo Montoya
We hate going to events that require nametags. We don't like encouraging strangers to talk to us. Plus, we always forget to take the damn thing off when we walk out of whatever it was that required the nametag, so we're headed home, stopping by the grocery store, accidentally encouraging the produce manager to address us by name. Which is just creepy. The one exception would be if you had a really long name such as Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F'tang F'tang Olé Biscuitbarrel. Or if you had something complicated you had to say with your introduction, such as, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Saying that over and over gets tedious (just ask Count Rugen). So in this case, we figure we can condone the use of nametags. Just this once. Black 100% cotton shirt with white and red "Hello my name is..." sticker over the chest, with Inigo Montoya's full spiel wedged in there.
Blue Sun
In this crazy 26th century, Blue Sun is the company you can depend on. You probably know us through some of the universe's favorite foods, including Blue Sun Cola and Fruity Oaty Bars, but we do more than that. Much more. We go where we are needed, and wherever there are settlers, there's a need for Blue Sun. We work to identify and address problems in colonies and create solutions, spreading happiness wherever we go. We are committed to creating sustainable colonies, because you are Blue Sun's most valuable product! We have a presence in locations as varied as the Space Bazaar Sky Plex and downtown Capital City on Osiris. And although you can find us throughout the universe, you'll find our approach is very close-to-home -- very hands-on. Our goal is to be right there for you -- always! Terraforming can turn a rock into a habitable world, but the presence of Blue Sun makes a place truly livable. We'd be proud for you to wear one of our corporate logo shirts. Our logo is printed in navy blue on a military green 100% cotton shirt. Goes well with everything, whether you're a mudder or an accountant. Editor's note: This is NOT identical to Jayne's shirt on the show. His shirt uses a Chinese character for blue which was deprecated as the show progressed. The Serenity logo is printed on this shirt, smaller, beneath the Blue Sun text. The military green of the standard shirt is less saturated than the green of the babydoll version.
Planet Express Babydoll
Here at Planet Express, we're always looking for fresh recruits to join our spaceship crew. Whether your permanent career assignment is in intergalactic navigation or accounting and administration, chances are, we have a slot open for you right now. Career deserter? No problem! As part of our ongoing effort to give back through recycling, we've salvaged the career chips from some of our past, brave crewmembers and now can pass those savings on to you! What will you be doing when you work for Planet Express? Well, you'll get to see the entire universe and also transport cargo! And when we say entire universe, we mean it. We go places other delivery companies (not to name names -- Mom's Friendly Delivery Company) only dream of going. (Why they were screaming and running while dreaming, we're not sure. It's probably something in the water.) In addition to the fun work environment, some of our benefits include on-board medical facilities with highly trained staff (unless that's the crewmember you're replacing... in which case, welcome aboard!), a pension plan, stock options, not having a uniform that involves kneesocks, or, indeed, any socks at all if you so wish, and an endless supply of free darkmatter. Even if you can't join our ranks today, you can take home an official "Planet Express" t-shirt. It features our logo in orange on a red, fitted t-shirt with the words, "Reliable Interplanetary Delivery. Serving the Milky Way and Beyond!" Note that the printing is slightly distressed (you can see the shirt in several places), much like our employees!
Halo Reach UNSC Shirt
Our big green style cannot be defeated! Marines, we present to you ThinkGeek's own version of Big Green Style. Okay, so our *ahem* Motivational Device might not have as much "persuasion" built in as Sergeant Major Avery Johnson's. But ours comes in convenient, foldable form and is machine-washable for those times when your Warthog runs over a particularly messy enemy. And it won't involve special agents staking out your house when a Scorpion Tank shows up on your doorstep. Military green, 100% cotton shirt has UNSC letters and crest on the front.
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
We'll be honest here. We hadn't heard of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock until that episode of The Big Bang Theory. You could say that prior to that day we were traditional roshamboists. When we heard Sheldon explain how it works and why it's superior to your standard-grade RPS, we immediately paused the TV and went over to teh Intarwebs to do research. And indeed, we found the page by Sam Kass, the genius behind this version. His phenomenon must now be part of our life. However, none of us knew anything about this version of the game. So we ended up playing Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock to figure out who had to write the copy for this shirt. It went a little something like this: Fearless Leader: "One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: "What's that?" Free Thinker: "It's a zombie." Rules Lawyer: "There is no Zombie in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Free Thinker: "Braaaaaainsssss." Rules Lawyer: "There are no Brains in Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock." Merchant Monkey: "Lizard and Spock have Brainnnnnnnsssss." Second Merchant: "Right. And Rock bludgeons Zombie into a small pile of blood, teeth, and hair." Free Thinker: "Awwww." Fearless Leader: "Are you two done? Okay. Again. One, two, three, SHOOT!" Rules Lawyer: *raised eyebrow* Free Thinker: "It's the Large Hadron Collider." The symbols for Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock in a circle (with arrows for reference on what beats what) on a 100% cotton, blue t-shirt.
HEAD tag hat
This one probably can't be any more obviously simple. Opening and closing
tags to enclose your own. 100% cotton twill, pigment-dyed baseball cap in "smoke" grey. Six-panel unstructured with embroidered eyelets. Antique brass snap with tuck-in closure, adjustable strap, one size fits most. and embroidered on the front and back in white.
Minecraft Creeper Babydoll
ThinkGeek is your source for officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Retro-graphics. Simplistic gameplay. Minecraft takes gaming back to basics. Punching trees and rocks or digging tunnels, you slowly gather an arsenal of weapons and tools to fend off the spiders, skeletons, zombies, and exploding Creepers that are a constant threat. The exploding Creeper is our nemesis. We know you feel our pain. Sometimes it's fun to be the bad guy, though. Taking those dreams and shattering them. We recommend you wear this shirt around: Playing card structures Jenga tournaments The set of any OK Go video Black pixelated face on an Irish green babydoll (fitted) t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear. Note: The color of the infant, kids', and ladies' version of this match. The men's is a little different, but as close as we could get to the pixelated goodness of the Creeper.
The Solution Babydoll
So, Johnny was diligently working in the lab trying to generate a little nucleation. But things weren't going so well and he's just not having any luck. Then all of a sudden his lab partner fumbles in, accidently knocking Johnny's beaker of silver nitrate into some potassium chloride which spills all over Johnny. 'Heavens to Betsy!' Johnny gleefully proclaims as a beautiful white solid of silver chloride materializes. And that's why, the legend goes, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Teal, 100% cotton babydoll with black text and pics on it. Beneath some nifty drawings of labatory equipment reads...'If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate'.
I am the IT Guy Babydoll
Probably every female in IT has experienced this at least once. Here's T-shirt Girl's favorite anecdote from her own collection. Back in her customer service days, she had this lovely exchange with a gentleman who didn't know how to make his modem go: T-Shirt Girl: Thank you for calling [company name redacted]. My name is [T-Shirt Girl]. How may I help you? Gentleman Caller: I'm looking for technical support. T-Shirt Girl: Okay. What seems to be the problem? Gentleman Caller: No, I need [enunciating] tech-ni-cal sup-port. T-Shirt Girl: Right. How can I help you? Gentleman Caller: You're female. T-Shirt Girl: Umhmm. [at this point the gentleman hung up, presumably running away screaming] (Would it be wrong to say that I hope he can't read this because he's still sitting there trying to figure out how to get his 9600 baud modem to connect?) "I am the IT Guy" emblazoned in white on a black babydoll (fitted) t-shirt.
World of Minecraft
ThinkGeek is your source for officially-licensed Minecraft gear. First circle In limbo are those who have not yet played the game. They are doomed to an eternity of listening to their friends rant about how awesome it is. Second circle The second circle contains the night sky and moon. It is full of hostile mobs, and those who live here are fated to repeat the 7 minute cycle for eternity. Third circle Players relegated to the third circle always know where north is but can't ever get there. On the plus side, at least the view is nice if you gotta spend eternity there. Fourth circle The fourth circle has a crunchy outer shell and an inner ring. Those in the outer ring are constantly cold; those in the inner ring are plagued by the constant smell of bacon and a companionable pig but no way to transform it into pork. Fifth circle Players in the fifth circle are elated to find diamond ore but are quickly overcome by assorted aggressive mobs. Their spawn point is in view of the diamond ore. Wash, rinse, repeat. Sixth circle This is the ring of fire. It contains lava and a Ghast and houses those who kill other players on non-PK-dedicated servers. Players will find a bucket in their inventory with no water. * Circles seven - nine are not available in beta. Various geological layers of Minecraft depicted on this black, 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially-licensed Minecraft gear.
Back to ThinkGeek index
Newsletter | Privacy Policy | ©2010 OliverGoodstuff.com wickity snickity woo