I'm A Keeper
Seek me out.
![[buy]](/images/buy.gif)
Acoustic Keytar
It�s what Beethoven would play if he were alive. And more gnarly.
Go Ape: Brains
If I only had a shirt...by Go Ape Shirts
Zelda is the Girl
Wait, nobody told me the Princess of Hyrule was female.
If You Can Read This I'm Not Planking
And if I�m not planking, I�m probably dead.
That's How I Roll
A 20-sided die is called an Icosahedron. You try making a pun out of that though.
Vintage Vantage: Feelings
It's true, and most of those feelings drive him to murder.
Sad Rhino
That volleyball scholarship was his last chance to leave the Savannah.
SILF
Where's the best place to meet a hot sandwich? The club. Baby, I like it rye.
Blow Me
Because "blow me and then put another cartridge on top of me once I'm in the NES" wouldn't fit.
Second Amendment
Amendment I The right to free speech. Amendment II The right to bear arms. Amendment III The right to buy t-shirts that your 10th grade social studies teacher would find hilarious.
Mulligan's Steak House
If they're out of steak, order all the bacon and eggs they have.
Play-Toh
All the doh which is under or upon the earth is not enough to give in exchange for virtue.
Anti-Clothes: Pac Man Graph
This shirt won't make you any better at Pac Man, but it will make you worse at math.
Think Different
My BlackBerry works just as good as a portal gun, thank you very much.
Wayne
"As a shareholder, I'd like to know why 50% of the budget was spent on 'Misc Crime-Fighting Technology.'"
Prose Before Hos
And here's another thing. Ya know that cute girl in your english class that you've been trying to impress? This shirt should do the trick. It shows you're smart and clever while making sure she knows you've got a sense of humor too. Place your order on a Monday, get the shirt on a Thursday, wear it to class on Friday and ask her out for Saturday. After that, welcome to Pantyville, population: you.
Elements
This is why your Charizard always loses to Poliwhirl.
NSFW
Unless it's casual Friday.
Anti-Clothes: Crane Game
You win. They lose.
Strangers Are Awesome
�Wh-wh-who are you� besides a super-cool dude, I mean?�
Robert E. Lee: Most Likely to Secede
Another piece of trivia for you history buffs: Robert also won other yearbook superlatives including most spirited, most facial hair, and shortest middle name.
Punching Game
A good t-shirt to wear in the capital of Thailand.
Callahan Auto Parts
Fat guy in a little shirt.
All The Single Ladies
If you liked it then you shouldn't have let it join a convent.
The Price is Wrong Bitch
Drew Carey would never be able to knock Adam Sandler out the way Barker could.
74th Annual
Cinna would approve of this wardrobe.
Conglomo
Rocko's modern heartless corporation.
someecards: Blast My Pecs
Buy this shirt a size too small to make it more believable!
Stewart/Colbert '12
If "Vote or Die" were real legislation, can you imagine how lazy you would have to be to still not get around to registering?
Cracka' Please
Polly want a t-shirt?Inspired by our friend Mike Birbiglia
Festival of Lightsabers
"Hooky religions are no match for for a good blaster at your side, rabbi."
Jake and Amir: You Gotta Learn How To Be Funny
If you haven't learned how to be funny yet then you never will. But try to learn anyway. Good luck. It won't happen. But try
Motherboy XXX
Buy two: one for you and one for your over-attached mother.
Illuminati BBQ
1pm: Three-legged race
2pm: Destroy European economy
3pm: Water balloon fight!
Peter Parkour
Webs are for cheaters.
Go Ape: Hans Guitar Solo
Rockin' out ain't like dusting crops, boy.by Go Ape Shirts
Jake and Amir
All proceeds from this shirt go to buying Jake the phatest present ever. It's like this Ferrari poster, but it's framed. It's really sick. So. For more information check out JakeAndAmir.com
Bear Shark
DANGER: SCARIEST THING EVER AHEAD
Camping Is Intents
Get it? Intense? In ... tents? Camping can also be done in cabins but that's not as punny.
One Ring to Rule them All
One ring to rule them all, one ring to fry them.
Moby Fail
From Hell's heart I Tweet at thee!
Hungry Hungry Hippo
When we were tossing around how this obviously brilliant shirt idea would manifest itself on a piece of fabric, Jake suggested that the hippo should be leaning over a toilet vomiting white marble balls. I'm glad we didn't go with that.
Jake and Amir: Oh Sheesh Y'all
Oh Sheesh Y'All, 'Twas a Dream come true! For Amir, at least.
Keep Calm and Move Along
Stiff upper lip, assuming your species has lips.
Reading is Jawsome
Illiteracy bites.
Analog Retirement
This shirt is also available for downloading as a digital e-shirt.
Varsity Blernsball
It�s the great Earthican pastime.
Casually Butterfly Everything
This causes tears for a completely different reason.
HelloGiggles: Easy Breezy
HelloGiggles: Easy Breezy
Nerdy Shirt
At least you have your Cool Shirt. Oh, you traded that in for a 12-sided die? Um, wow.
Angry Planes
They fight fascist pigs.
No Star: Keep The Dream Alive
If God wanted us out of bed before noon, he wouldn't have scheduled "What's Happening!!" re-runs at 3AM.
This One Goes To 12
....These go PAST eleven.
You Shall Not Pass Go
One thimble to rule them all.
HUMA-Limited Edition
All right, from the top of this hay stack, over the stable, off the barn roof, -- Nothing but net.
Map Marker Death
Would you like to search "morgues" in your area?
Finkle
It wasn't easy, but we've discovered a non-annoying Ace Ventura reference.
Note: T-shirt has no print on the front. Design only appears on the back.
Vandelay Industries
The shirt store called and they're running out of you!
Dont Stop Believin
Hold on to that feeling...
Boring (NASCAR)
Have you ever been to a NASCAR race? Ever seen one on TV? This shirt goes out to everyone who has unwillingly watched cars go around in a circle for over two hours straight.
Rirruto
Fine, how about a t-shirt with the word "Buzz" on it?
Sheriff Grimes
Just because you�re undead doesn�t mean the law doesn�t apply to you.
You Have Died of Dysentery
You bought 1350 lbs of this shirt but you can only carry 200 back to the wagon.
One Man Wolf Pack
Wear it until your wolf pack grows by one.
Most Deadly
Much more popular than our "Worst Marksmanship" shirt!
Fatstronaut
In space nobody can hear you scream for ice cream.
Jesse and the Rippers
Wear this shirt for free admission at the Smash Club.
Bon Temps
True football.
SNL: Red Flag Perfume
The only perfume that warns men: �I'm f*cking crazy.�
The Vet
It stood, concrete and glory, over the warehouses of South Philadelphia. 65,000 seats with the hardest, most passionate fans you could find anywhere.
No hitters.
Championships.
Body bags.
1971-2003
This shirt was printed on a super soft 50/50 American Apparel blank for a worn vintage feel.
That's What She Said!
This is so nice... soft... and comfortable...
Unicorn Meat
Rich in protein and enchantment.
Unicorn Devolution
Nature is amazing. But unfortunately this is sorcery.
I Potion Zelda
�Aw, that is so romantic!� --The World�s Coolest Girlfriend
No Star: Burritos
It's what's on the inside that matters.
Visit No Star clothing
ISIS
Do not wear this if you're undercover.
Yes We Catan
America is ready for Change. If we work together and trade with our neighbors, we can truly build the Longest Road.
Party Sub
It�s a slice of life.
Faux-Bot
It has terrifyingly powerful artificial artificial intelligence.
The Pantones
Color me band.
Control Freak
The power is in your hands.
Delorean Dashboard
Time machines aren't toys. They should only be driven by scientists, teenagers, really old men from the future, and dogs.
Speaker City
We definitely don't need a description for this. If you get it, you'll buy it. If you don't, you won't.
SNL: Stefon's Hottest Clubs
Stefon lusts New York.
Attendance
Appropriate for any and all fourth most popular New Zealand folk duo band meetings.
Better Call Saul
Accepts checks, money orders, unlaundered cash, and crystal meth. Not Discover, though.
Vimeo: Logo Asphalt
Hi! We're Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay!
HelloGiggles: Cherry on Top
HelloGiggles: Cherry on Top
Viva La Evolucion
Remember the evolutionary war? The red-shirts are coming!
Springfield Isotopes
Show your love for the greatest AA Baseball team since the New Britain Rock Cats.
Slurm
�It�s highly addictive!�
Shit Happens
Depression, as currently defined by the American Psychological Association Journal, can be traced back to this specific situation.
Los Pollos Hermanos
Everyone wants our secret recipe.
HelloGiggles: Gigglers
HelloGiggles: Gigglers
Finders Keepers
This is an intergalactic "shotgun" calling.
Jesus Hates the Yankees
When we think of the phrase "act of God," usually bad things come to mind: a flood, an earthquake, a tornado. But how often does God get credit for the good things?
someecards: Overwhelming
someecards: Overwhelming
Stoop Kid
A 12-year-old with horrible social anxiety? What a scoop!
Elect Zaphod Beeblebrox
Two-heads of State are better than one.
Winter is Coming
I'm dreaming of a white walker. It's actually a nightmare.
Fantasy Football
How do you think Harry Potter would do in fantasy football? He'd probably cast some sort of spell to get the first pick, but waste it on a quarterback.
Bow Ties are Cool
Also awesome when combined with ties: "neck," "bolo" and "Family."
Pedro Lacks Political Experience
This is Summer Wheatly and I approve this t-shirt.
Mexican Basketball Association: Juan on Juan
Does Mexico have an official basketball league? And if they did, would the players wear sombreros as they dribbled down the court? My guess as to the answer of those questions would have to be "Huh?"
Don't Tess With Mexas
Hey Mexicans! Stay out of Mexaco!
Push It (Push It Real Good)
Spend your allowance money on this to remind yourself of your roots.
Mac Daddy
Hey, if it can play Oregon Trail, its all right by me.
I Heart Accuracy
Wear your heart near your sleeve.
Vintage Vantage: Science
If knowledge is so powerful, how come they don't make atomic bombs out of it?
What Wouldn't Jesus Do?
The New Testament encourages answering questions with other questions as a means of facilitating conversations. So what better way to fully understand what Jesus would do, than by inquiring what he wouldn't do?
Jake and Amir: For The Wolf
This shirt for the wolf. For the epic wolf.
Jerk Store
Lose this shirt at they dry cleaner and complain about it to your friends, just like Jerry.
Summer is Coming
We will settle the Seven Kingdoms the only true way: boogie board contest.
I'd Hit That
Any Donkey is a pinata, if you like donkey meat enough.
Vimeo: Flag
Hi! We're Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay!
Ray's Occult Books
Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Quail Man
You already wear your underwear over your shorts. This shirt is all that's missing.
Schematics of the Death Star
The Empire strikes back, but they sure don't design space-stations well.
Henry the 8th
Foppish haters gonna foppishly hate
Nuke The Whales
"Meh. You gotta nuke something."
Practice Safe Lunch: Use a Condiment
Gently unroll the condiment all the way down to the base of the sandwich. If you don't get it on the first time, throw the condiment away and start again.
Amish: Don't Drink or Drive
If you know any Amish people, then you'll probably have to get this for them. Chances are, they don't know about the internet yet.
Midnight Ticket
Next stop: believin'!
Slam Dunk
For added awkwardness, imagine him doing this at the 30 yard line.
WWF
These Panda Bears are wrestling. That's the joke. Our designer never actually got the memo.
Reunite Pangea
Together we can change the world. Literally.
BustedTees Grab Bag
Get 4 random BustedTees for only $30, a savings of over 60%. You pick the size, we'll pick the shirts. No duplicates. All sales are final, no returns or exchanges. Supplies are limited.
SNL: Dick in a Box
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress, it's easy to do, just follow these steps.
Paris/Rhianna '08
Paris/Rhianna '08
Free Tibet
This shirt not valid in China.
Die Hard
This shirt has definite star power.
Noah's Arcade
It's hip, it's fresh, it's the Noah Arcade t-shirt.
Helvetica
A slap in the typeface.
Don't Tread On Me
We're more of a Mushroom Republic than a Murshroom Kingdom.
Initech
For bonus points, wear this to your next Michael Bolton concert.
Adamantium
This only passes for an element in Professor X's chemistry class.
Condiment Pyramid
Fact: If you can't dip stuff in it, it's not nutritious.
Disheveled Tuxedo
Wear it and watch as snobs in normal tuxedo t-shirts gasp.
Philly Forecast
It's always sunny�even at night!
Reptar on Ice
Reptar on Ice
Anti-Clothes: Pinata's Revenge
They're filled with vengeance... and candy.
Super Ray
Super Ray is Mortal.
Ewok PSA
And no empty beer cans on the ground. We�re looking at you, Jek Porkins!
SNL: Happy Fun Ball
Happy Fun Balls...So fun it's scary. It's also not that fun.
Mutt Cutts
It's the Shaggin' Wagon T-shirt. Chicks love it.
Enchantment Under the Sea
Music! Dancing! Time-space paradoxes!
HUMA
All right, from the top of this hay stack, over the stable, off the barn roof, -- Nothing but net.
Check out the limited edition Gold Huma. On Pre-Sale now for only $8.99.
Irish I Were Drunk
While none of our shirts are magically delicious, this one comes the closest.
Fortune Cookie
"Quick! Find a cookie that says, 'Just kidding.'"
someecards: Terrified Offline
But it's safer than bringing my computer under water...
What the Frak
Shirt doubles as a Cylon detector.
Song of Storms
Sir, please don't throw rupees in the club. You'll put someone's eye out.
Sports
For the love of the gaming system.
Stair Car
Brought to you by The Bluth Co.
The Beets
Any Doug fan will find this shirt very Funnie.
Ghost Catcher
He's smarter than Egon, funnier than Venkman, and almost yellower than Ray.
People to Kill
I�m glad I called that guy.
Dino DNA
Well, you�re playing God and unleashing dinosaurs on me, but gosh darn it if that little guy�s not adorable. All is forgiven.
I Dyslexia Heart
For an added joke, wear this t-shirt backwards.
Honey Badger
Pretty much, like, the most badass animal you can wear on-- ew! It just ate a snake!
Camp Anawanna
Some of us lost our virginity at summer camps, others just lost our iPods... Seriously, if you've seen it let me know.
No Star: Booyah
It would be more exciting if 'booyah' was in the dictionary and you could actually use it.
Robots in Disguise
This actually works against the universe's dumbest Decepticons.
Nerd
Psh, what are you, like, a rocket scientist? Oh, you are? Sorry.
Planet Express
A simple, old-fashioned company owned by a Mad Scientist and operated by a cyclops, a robot, and a pizza delivery boy from 1000 years ago.
SNL: Suck It Trebek
Luckily he only wagered threeve dollars.
Hard Corg
This guy makes Spud McKenzie look like a dweeb.
Without Me, It's Just Aweso
We both know that you are the life of the party -- but does the rest of the party know this? Do they know that last week you drank an entire bottle of Cuervo, walked over to the TV to start humping it, passed out in mid-stride, and crashed your head into the screen and had to go to the hospital after losing almost a pint of blood?
Save the Direwolves
Few men have seen this mythical creature. Together we can change that!
Oh Yeah!
Two guys packing punches.
The Floor is Lava
�Please continue to dresser and couch on the left.�
someecards: Picky and Desperate
I don�t like anything, but I do need it now. Right now! PLEASE!
Vintage Vantage: Reservations
We can't wait to kick these shirts out of their homes and send them across the country.
Chat and Cut
"I haven't seen such skillful deception since a-sphincter-says-what."
Greece
Here's the funny thing. Even though we put this description on here explaining that we know that's not the flag for Greece and that's the joke, we'll still get about two or three emails a week telling us that we're idiots for mixing up countries.
someecards: Designated Driver
He's three casks over His Majesty's legal limit... of nine casks.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
The most annoying beer catchphrase, after "Whasssup?" Oh, and "Bud-wei-serrr." Oh, and "Hooray beer!" Oh, and�
Jake and Amir: Ace and Jocelyn
This shirt isn't just outta this world, its outta this planet. Same thing. Whatever.
Treat Yo Self
"The best day of the year!"
SNL: More Cowbell
Because less cowbell would result in less cowbell.
Haters Gonna Hate
�I�m down on this stage putting MY F*%&ING HEART AND SOUL INTO MY ART!� --Fozzy Bear
Bat Man and Robin
What�s next? Some kind of �cat woman?�
Never Forget
There are many theories behind the sudden mass extinction of dinosaurs 65 million years ago: asteroid attack, environmental changes, terrorism. But we will never know for sure...
Skynet
If computers are going to enslave us, they may as well be fast and reliable enslaving computers.
I Choo Choo Choose You
In the future trains will choose people and not the other way around.
Gobias Industries
From the entrepreneurs behind the Bluth's Frozen Bananas and the Cornballer.
Captain Canada
Keeping miles of barren snowy wasteland safe.
South Korea's Got Seoul
I'll be the first to admit there were some pretty awful shirt ideas tossed out the night we thought of this gem. I mean, terrible stuff. Like "North Dakota likes it on top," "Gettin' Lucky in Montana" or other stuff that wouldn't even make it on a koozie sold in a truck stop gift shop.
Good-Bye Elliot
E.T. Pwn3d home.
Video Game Hats
Funky Kong BEGGED us to include his bandana.
Binford Tools
Finally a shirt with more power.
Soccer
Warning: This shirt makes less sense in Europe.
Caught 'em All
I choose you. Sorry.
SNL: Schweddy Balls
Order your Schweddy Ball Sack today.
The Belafonte
Let me tell you about my boat.
Mom's Friendly Robot Company
Robots made the good old-fashioned way.
Improv Everywhere
The official shirt of the Internet's most notorious pranksters.
Phasmophobia
If only there was some kind of agency that busted ghosts -- "Ghostcatchers," if you will.
Facebook: Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Also like Cheers, funny things happen when people show up drunk.
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